Life of fame, agents and web weirdos

By CATHERINE MASTERS

What happens to little girls when they get Oscars and become overnight Hollywood celebrities?

We thought Keisha Castle-Hughes could do with some sound advice from one who knows, so tried to ask our own Anna Paquin, now a resident of New York.

It seems that at 20 Anna has been well and truly devoured by the Hollywood I'm-too-important-and-so-are-my-agents machine.

Once you have undertaken the drawn-out process of trying to reach her, battling past the personal assistants to the agents and getting redirected to the second assistant to the assistant in charge of media interviews, racking up quite a phone bill, then send off the required email containing all the questions you might want to ask, the response is surprisingly rapid.

"Unfortunately, due to her schedule she will not be able to participate. Thank you for your interest."

Not sure if the celebrityship has gone to Paquin's head or to the heads of her agents and/or their assistants. Or maybe they just couldn't be bothered asking her.

One thing that does happen though is vicious chatroom wars.

A quick internet search will take you to dozens of websites specifically on Anna peopled by anonymous weirdos who heatedly debate whether she is sexy or not.

"Maybe if she got a hair cut that was more flattering for her or something she would be half decent," said one of the milder entries.

This nasty person goes on to say our Anna is the biggest airhead he (or she?) has seen in a brunette.

This really annoyed the next person to write who responded with horrid names like "troll" and "fool".

Our Anna is a great person and a great actress, says he or she or it.

Then there's the just plain yuck porno-style photoshopped shots that pop up.

Maybe it's no wonder she doesn't return calls.