WARNING: This story contains graphic and sensitive content.
Lauren Dickason’s own mother has taken the stand to give evidence at the alleged murderer’s trial.
Wendy Fawkes said her daughter loved her children “very much” but shortly before she emigrated to New Zealand Dickason was “absent” and she was concerned the woman would have a “breakdown”.
“There were changes in Lauren... especially in the last couple of weeks. She stopped communicating, she was very flat,” she said.
“I was extremely worried about her... I’ve never seen Lauren in such a bad mental state.
“Lauren became more distant.... in her messages to me she told me how broken she is.”
Dickason is charged with murdering her daughters Liané Dickason - who was a week off her 7th birthday - and 2-year-old twins Maya and Karla.
The little girls were found dead in their beds by their father Graham Dickason when he returned home from a work function in September 2021.
The family had only been in New Zealand for a matter of weeks after emigrating from South Africa.
Dickason, 42, admits smothering her children to death, but has pleaded not guilty to the murder charges by reason of insanity or infanticide.
The defence opened its case today painting a picture of a severely mentally disturbed woman in the depths of postpartum depression.
It followed more than a week of evidence from the Crown, which alleges she murdered the children in a “calculated” way because she was frustrated, angry and resentful of them.
While the Crown acknowledges Dickason suffered from sometimes-serious depression, it maintains she knew what she was doing when she killed the girls.
Last week, Crown Prosecutor Andrew McRae alleged Dickason was an angry and frustrated woman who was “resentful of how the children stood in the way of her relationship with her husband” and killed them “methodically and purposefully, perhaps even clinically”.
This morning the defence opened its case and started calling witnesses.
Dickason’s mother began giving evidence this afternoon.
Fawkes, supported by her son while she gave evidence, read a statement to the court before answering questions from Dickason’s lawyer.
The retired teacher and her husband Malcolm have attended every day of their daughter’s trial, leaving only once when pathologist Dr Martin Sage’s evidence about the post mortems.
Fawkes spoke of her oldest child’s desperation to be a mother and her “heartbreaking” IVF journey.
“She was very anxious and stressed after every treatment,” she said.
“When Lauren lost Sarah the fact that the baby was taken… always haunted her. There was no funeral or time to say goodbye. Lauren was very sad.”
Fawkes said her daughter “persisted” as having children was her “primary” goal.
She recalled that in May 2019 she was called to Dickason’s house.
The court earlier heard that on that day Dickason had told her husband that she’d had thoughts of hurting the children.
“I understood that they needed help and they were not coping,” said Fawkes.
“When I got there Graham was sitting with his head in his hands looking quite forlorn… Lauren came in, and both were upset.
“I don’t know that I was aware of the full detail of what was said before I got there - I remember saying you need to go and get help and see somebody.
“Lauren was visibly upset and obviously wasn’t coping with the children.”
Dickason later told her mother she had seen a doctor and he had adjusted her medication.
Fawkes told the court she was not aware of the full extent of DIckason’s psychiatric issues.
“As a mother, I could see when Lauren was down and I tried to encourage her, I knew she was seeing a psychologist but I didn’t know the details.
“She never told me what (her) diagnosis was.”
Fawkes described her daughter as a parent.
“Birthdays were a big thing for Lauren… she went to a lot of trouble on the children’s birthdays,” she said.
“From what I saw she loved them very much there is absolutely no doubt about that in my ind.
“She did arts and crafts, baking… she would take the kids biking and out to various things.
She also took Liane to art classes and gym classes.”
Fawkes said Dickason was always organised “with every potential outcome covered”.
“She found it hard to relax with the children,” she said.
“As a mother, I would say that Lauren was overprotective, even neurotic… Lauren was very safety focussed.”
Fawkes told the court she had “significant reservations” about Dickason and her family moving to New Zealand.
“Neither of them had ever been here before, I was worried they would lose their support networks,” she said.
“I raised this with (them), the realities of emigrating. But once Lauren has made up her mind you can’t tell her what to do.
“I said to (Graham) I was worried about Lauren, she had lost a lot of weight… she was absent.”
Fawkes said Dickason was “paranoid” about the rioting in South Africa which was 500km away and “panicked” about power outages.
As the family’s departure date came closer Fawkes became increasingly worried.
“Lauren wasn’t communicating,” she said.
“I said to Graham that I was really worried... and he said ‘Mum everything is going to be ok, but if we have one more bump in the road I’m going to stop it all.
“The last time I saw them was the night before they flew out... we didn’t even go inside, we just went to say goodbye.
“The children stood on the upstairs balcony and waved, Lauren came and gave me a hug, she was very distant, she seemed out of it, disconnected.
“She seemed frail... I did not realise Lauren was suicidal.”
Fawkes said she never saw anything to make her worry about the children.
“Their safety was her priority, she absolutely loved them.”
After arriving in New Zealand Dickason had little contact with her family.
She sent messages but infrequently and lay on her bed during video calls.
The first witness called by the defence was a close family member of Dickason who has known her for many years.
Her name has been suppressed.
She told the jury that she was still close to the accused, speaking to her every second week and writing to her in between.
She had been a big part of Liane, Maya and Karla’s lives - and supported Dickason and her husband through their gruelling fertility journey.
They underwent 17 rounds of IVF and lost a baby - a daughter named Sarah - when Dickason was just 18 weeks pregnant.
The couple eventually turned to donor eggs to conceive their three daughters.
The relative said she was not aware of Dickason’s mental health issues until after Sarah died.
“I think it had a more significant impact on Lauren’s life than we ever imagined,” she said.
“The loss of Sarah was something she carried with her for the rest of her life… she carried on living with it.
“Her joy levels never returned… The birth of Liane was a highlight but I don’t feel like that initial joy I knew Lauren to have ever returned after the loss of Sarah.”
She recalled Dickason being “very doubtful” during her pregnancies, constantly worried about losing babies and not being able to become a mother.
When Liane was born the whole family was overjoyed. But Dickason struggled from the start.
The relative said the harrowing conception process and a “difficult” pregnancy seemed to deeply impact Dickason.
“She took a big knock… it took its toll… she was crying a lot, she was very down,” she said.
“I think it took her about nine months to settle into motherhood… once they found a rhythm that worked for both of them they settled.
“I definitely think she was happy to have her, as much as it was difficult and the adjustment was hard.
“There was a bit of spark back in Lauren… it felt like a bit of purpose had returned to her life.”
When Dickason fell pregnant again she and Graham invited the whole family to dinner at her parents’ home to announce they were having twins.
“Everyone was given a little white box and inside were two cupcakes,” the relative said.
“They expressed their nervousness that it was twins… but announced their delight they were going to be parents for a second time around.”
After the twins were born the relative said Dickason was struggling again and took her to see a counsellor at her church.
“I definitely thought she was down again… I think she masked it well by being busy, getting things done and keeping order for her family at that time,” she said.
The woman said Dickason “was really struggling” when South Africa was plunged into lockdown during the Covid-19 pandemic.
She feared her young family getting the virus and “avoided contact with most people”.
Dickason feared her husband “bringing it home” from the hospital where he worked and her worries were “exasperated” when two of his family members died from Covid.
As the family prepared to move to New Zealand the relative noticed Dickason was not doing well.
“She was speaking less… she had a much more sad demeanour,” she said.
“A big trigger for me, a sign that she was really struggling, I came to her home and she declined me coming in for coffee with her… that was the first for me, a first in our relationship.
“That was when I really knew she was struggling… she couldn’t even speak to me.”
The woman said Dickason lost a lot of weight before leaving South Africa. At first it was healthy - the result of a fitness programme - and she was “glowing”.
But then the woman “started looking like a skeleton”.
On July 31 2021 a family gathering was held to farewell the Dickason family.
The relative said Dickason was “there but not” and “very vacant” and quiet.
“I was very worried,” the relative said.
The day before the girls were killed the woman received a photo in a group chat of Dickason with Liane on her first day of school.
She told the court she was shocked to see an even thinner Dickason, who was “completely drowning” in a tracksuit top that would usually fit.
“It was by far the worst I have ever seen her,” she said.
“She looked grey, she looked like she couldn’t even focus”
The woman said Dickason was a good mother who was always organised and provided everything her children needed and wanted.
The girls were all very different and Dickason was good at “adapting” to make sure each child’s “tank” was filled.
“She was very protective of them… She definitely told them all the time (she loved them) she gave them hugs and kisses,” said the relative.
“There were lots of laughs and giggles… they really enjoyed spending time with her.”
Defence lawyer Anne Toohey opened the defence case just before 11am.
She said there was no dispute that Dickason killed the children and then tried - using multiple methods - to take her own life.
“Her intention was to go to bed… and to never wake up,” said Toohey.
“The question is why she did that. All three defence experts say her mind was disturbed by reason of her postpartum depression arising from childbirth.
“All of the defence experts agree that there was an altruistic motive… That means that Lauren killed her children out of love.
“In her mind, she was killing them out of love - she was killing herself and she didn’t want to leave the children… she was so sure this was the right thing to do she persisted.”
Toohey said the decision to kill herself and the children was “spontaneous” because Dickason was “in a dark place”.
“She believed life was no longer worth living - for either her or her children,” Toohey said.
“She decided to kill herself and she felt that they were all better off dead.
“Lauren felt inadequate as a mother, she found it hard to cope…”
The trial, before Justice Cameron Mander, continues.