Kerre Woodham: Obese and unclean join babies on airline blacklist

Malaysia Airlines says it will introduce 'child-free zones' on its new A380 planes. Photo / Supplied

It's a Kiwi traveller's worst nightmare - boarding a plane to spend the next 26 hours of your life flying across the world in a smelly tin can, only to find yourself trapped in a seat in front of a screaming toddler.

To be fair, I have often found myself wanting to do exactly what the toddler is doing - bellowing at the top of my voice through frustration at being cooped up with mind-numbing boredom - and I, too, have wanted to demand that somebody get me off the plane now.

But I manage to suppress those feelings, so why can't toddlers?

This week Malaysian Airlines announced it would introduce "child-free zones" on the top deck of its A380 planes this year.

From July 1, people wanting to travel with their children will have to book in the family-friendly (otherwise known as economy) zone - or pay the nanny to travel with the kids in cattle class while they sip champagne up front.

Children are already banned from Malaysian Airlines' first-class sections, and the airline says its new policy is in response to complaints from travellers wanting to be able to sleep in peace. But a quick poll among my talkback listeners revealed that there was way worse to endure than crying kids.

Obese people who demand that the armrest be raised so they can wedge themselves in are a pet hate; as are stinky people who seem to have an aversion to deodorant or indeed any form of personal hygiene.

One person told me he saw an Auckland Airport official take a smelly passenger away for a shower before they could board their flight, and if that's true give that man or woman a medal.

Being stuck by the toilets and seated next to people trying to join the mile-high club were all considered worse than a crying baby.

Still, the stance by Malaysian Airlines is a start. Today restrictions on screaming babies, tomorrow the obese, next week the smelly. Let's bring classy back to international travel.