Waking in Wellington on Day 17 of the occupation at Parliament, there is just one word to describe my mindset – disbelief.
After endless days of reporting on the protest - broken sleep and concern for the health and safety of our team covering it from the frontline -I couldn't believe what I was reading.
Late last night, protesters successfully outfoxed our police force once again.
The fact protesters were able to remove a concrete bollard and get their vehicles back in the occupied site is in my view an absolute joke and a failure from police.
Why is that perimeter not being watched 24/7? What was the point of the past few days if protesters are left to just remove the bollards when they like?
And even if police weren't actively protecting their hard-fought boundary – the protesters' intentions were plastered all over social media. They were live-tweeting what they were doing - it was hardly a covert operation.
Police officers armed with riot shields move in to reclaim Wellington streets early Tuesday morning. Photo / George Heard
Wellingtonians have watched as this "protest" has dragged on and on, putting their faith in the police and their efforts to "de-escalate" and restore peace and "lawfulness".
I've largely remained quiet, focused on the straight reporting of what's happening, but I believe what happened last night is inexcusable. It's embarrassing.
Yesterday had presented a glimmer of hope in that the protest site may in fact be shrinking.
There were noticeably fewer cars clogging up the streets, the food trucks had closed, and free parking at Sky Stadium was coming to an end.
But surely this last point was on our police force's radar – they didn't just think our visitors would start lawfully paying for parking did they?
My partner is Irish, and when former Defence Minister Jonathan Coleman started referencing West Belfast in the 1970s as what we don't want to see play out here, he rolled his eyes.
This is nothing like The Troubles, and our country is nothing like Northern Ireland. It was never going to come to that.
My partner has found our approach over the past two weeks bemusing.
At times I've felt a bit defensive, trying to explain to him why policing in New Zealand is very different, and in a good way. But today, I have nothing. I'm bemused too.
On Thursday morning there were rows of barriers blocking Hill Street. Photo / Jack Crossland
I'm not advocating for violence, but surely we're better than this? Surely our police can keep a boundary secure?
I sent a media query to police this morning to try to clarify exactly how many vehicles did manage to get back in, but they couldn't even answer that for me, just said there would be an update "later this morning".
Of course, more protest action is now springing up around the country, and we're being warned to expect the occupation in Wellington to swell once more this weekend. Why wouldn't it? We've just seen how easy it is to join.
It's exhausting and frustrating, trusting those in power to show leadership and resolve this situation.
But to me, most of all today it's just disheartening.
