Rudman's city: And the annual Jafa winners are ...

By BRIAN RUDMAN

If ever a year should have been Auckland's it was 2000. But somehow we seem to have let it pass by.

Apart from the high at the beginning when we basked in the reflected glory of the America's Cup win, it has all been a bit of an anti-climax.

For this, I blame the Aucklanders we sent out to run the world. As we entered the year the Auckland Mafia were everywhere.

Top of the pack is Prime Minister Helen Clark. Her deputy, Jim Anderton, is one too (although temporarily camping south of the Bombays) as are both the Labour and National Party presidents.

In mid-year, National's leader, Jenny Shipley, saw the light and moved north. Soon to reign over them as Governor-General is Auckland-based Justice Dame Silvia Cartwright.

After the years we have devoted to getting them into the top jobs, is it so wrong to dream a little about payback time?

A commitment to support Auckland's carefully researched rapid transport solutions would have been nice. Even a willingness by Auckland's various national leaders to sit down with local politicians and talk it through properly would be a start.

So, too, would moves towards a less Wellington-centric financing regime for museums and the arts.

Still, Auckland didn't exactly grind to a halt waiting for the capital to come to the rescue. We made our own fun instead.

Now seems an appropriate time to look back with a few awards.

Best "merry jape." Mayor Christine Fletcher hitching up her skirts after a tiring council meeting, removing portraits of the Queen and Prince Philip from the chamber and, with the aid of several councillors, exiling the royals to the private mayoral dunny. She sheepishly claimed later that her act was to stimulate debate. It did, and the Windsors were soon back in place.

Best quote: Property developer Andrew Krukziener's description of AMP's rival waterfront tower as "an ugly mother of a cheap thing."

Jafa First Class: I nominated Waitakere Mayor and Auckland Mayoral Forum chair Bob Harvey for the Just Another Flippin' Aucklander award in June and see no reason to change. His prize-winning move was to declare that Aucklanders "couldn't give a rat's arse" about the Wellington "in crowd."

He also gave Finance Minister Michael Cullen and all South Islanders a serve for good measure. Sentiments we might all share from time to time, but unwise for someone trying to sweet-talk a better deal for Auckland out of the Wellington mandarins and Dr Cullen.

Best adult toy: The cute red fire engine the Water Pressure Group used in their protests against Metrowater. With working siren and waterpump, its relevance was obscure, but the eye appeal undeniable.

Looniest battle of the year: The Balmoral privet hedge spite strip clash came close, but lost out in the end to the battle between Waitakere City and pottery expert Richard Quinn over the relics from the old Crown Lynn Potteries. Dating back 12 years, it has involved a late-night raid by the police, a report by the Ombudsman and tens of thousands of ratepayers' money. It simmers on.

Meanies of the year: Councillors David Hay and the late Phil Raffills for pushing through the resolution banning the sandal-wearing greenies of Basque Park from the communal garden they had harmlessly tended for seven years. Booted off so complainants John and Beverley Waide could look out on a mock English park instead.

Maria Callas award for operatic histrionics: Windswept councillor Victoria Carter's live television news appearance at the foot of the doomed One Tree Hill pine claiming that the removal of the collapsing tree the next morning was "legalised vandalism."

Cheekiest birthday present request: Auckland Museum asking the Government for $46.5 million for additions to mark its 150th anniversary.

Biggest myth exposed: Auckland Museum again. Director Rodney Wilson confessing that the million-plus visitors a year claim, which the institution had dined out on for years, was bunkum. The old counting methods were "notoriously unreliable." A proper headcount recorded just 428,688 visitors for the last year. The other option was that people had stayed away because of the new "voluntary" entrance fee regime, but he didn't want to go there.

Last and loneliest colonial outpost award: Auckland Grammar for rejecting NZ school examinations and opting for English exams specially designed for students in remote parts of the old Empire.

Finally, thanks to everyone who has offered me ideas and advice - both constructive and otherwise. And for any letters I have not responded to, my apologies.