Reality check

A PICTURE OF MODEL BEHAVIOUR

Nicky Watson, seen outside Auckland's Ascot Metropolis yesterday morning, was quick to tell a passing photographer she was definitely not visiting Robbie Williams. We are happy to take the word of the model partner of former league star Matthew Ridge, but wonder if the randy rock star has seen her ample attractions.

After all he has a taste for Kiwi girls - having dated Rachel Hunter and during his last visit he shared a Metropolis suite with one Robyn Reynolds, who the London tabloids described as "a rampant Maori kiss-and-tell model". And Ms Watson has been voted this country's sexiest woman.

WOMEN DELIVER ON ROBBIE'S QUIVER

St John is hoping Robbie Williams doesn't have the same effect on pregnant New Zealand women as he does on British ones.

During the star's concerts to an audience of 125,000 people at Knebworth, England, this year; a dozen women went into labour. One woman's waters broke during Let Me Entertain You, the other 11 started contractions during Kids.

So if he's keeping up his average, six Kiwis could kick into action from among the crowd of 50,000 expected at Auckland's Western Springs tonight.

St John events manager Adam Johnston says the service is ready for anything, with medically equipped golf carts able to traverse the stadium.

HARD ACT TO SWALLOW

So you think bar staff will soon have it hard policing errant smokers? A barmaid at a perfectly civilised corner hostelry in Auckland had an altogether more tricky customer-relations issue to deal with last Saturday night.

Tequila slammers were served with a twist when several blokes chose to dip their delights in Christmas spirit, apply salt liberally and invite paid female companions to wet their whistles.

SYDNEY FASHION POLICE SPEAK ...

"We were dismayed to see the Lord of the Rings director, Peter Jackson, wedged like a mad hobbit between Hollywood lovelies like Liv Tyler and Viggo Mortensen.

"His unkempt hobo schtick spoiled the tableau entirely.

"Sure, we hear ya, Jackson's the creative mind, not the pretty face; he's a natty genius famous for his talent, not his looks, yada yada yada. But surely the man could have showered before his own film premiere? Or brushed his hair, perchance?"

So says the Sydney Morning Herald.

NB: If you were wondering, Liv Tyler's dress was by Celine.

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