Kerre Woodham: Bush had a Guardian angel

COMMENT

What a great week to be a big, hairy, chest-thumping neo-conservative! After the sting of being labelled the "Accidental President" in 2000, George W Bush rode back to the White House on a tsunami of popular support.

George W. won both an electoral majority and the popular vote, winning more votes than any President in history. It was an absolute rout, leaving the Democrats defeated, disillusioned and in disarray.

Like most of the world's citizens I wouldn't have voted for Bush. But from the time I read about The Guardian newspaper's plan to blitz the voters of Ohio with emails, urging swing voters to vote Kerry for the sake of world peace, I knew Bush was a shoo-in. If there's one thing people can't stand, its interference. The response to The Guardian's Operation Clark County was immediate - 11,000 emails in the first three days - and the only thing liberal about them were the levels of invective. Certainly, the letters from Clark County began politely enough, but soon descended to: "Have you noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from an arrogant Brit telling us why NOT to vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies. I don't give a rat's arse if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election on your crappy little island, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin. Oh yeah, and brush your teeth, you filthy goddamn animals."

But who can blame the honest ornery folk of Ohio? The Brits had their period of world domination and now it's the turn of the United States. And if someone took it upon themselves to tell me how I should be voting, in a fit of puerile bloody-mindedness I would turn around and vote for the opposing candidate. And clearly the decent folk of America's heartland did not respond well to even some of their own, telling them how to vote. All the door knocking and sweet-talking and riff playing from the likes of Susan Sarandon, Ben Affleck and Bruce Springsteen counted for diddly squat among voters who would regard Hollywood types as drug-taking promiscuous friends of film-maker Michael Moore.

The biggest challenge for George Bush will be keeping his humility in the face of such an overwhelming mandate from the people. Who could blame him for sticking his tongue out and waggling his fingers in his ears? Derided as a moron, sneered at by academics, loathed by liberals, George W. has had the last word. And how.

Now it's up to the Democrats to try to rebuild. They have one hell of a job ahead of them. Pundits are picking Hillary Clinton as the only hope for the beleaguered party, but I have my doubts.

George W. stood for conservative moral values. He and Laura are the sort of couple middle America can relate to. George is an affable bloke who is master of the malaprop and whose general knowledge isn't that flash, but I guarantee three quarters of Americans wouldn't know the name of the president of Pakistan either. Bush has a lovely wife who's cleverer than him, but who never shows him up in public. I loved her comment to the reporter who asked her if she ever disagreed with George on policy. She smiled sweetly and said: "If I do disagree with my husband, I'm certainly not going to tell you about it."

Even the hell-raising, pool-playing, bourbon-drinking twins could be considered assets. Who hasn't got a wilful teenager in the family?

If Hillary, with all her brains, and strength, and feminism, thinks she's going to be able to make any sort of dent in the bedrock of conservatism that the Bush family will build up over the next four years for their successor, she's got another think coming. Chicks with cojones don't sell well in the States. Still what would I know? As these elections showed, politics is not a science. It's about people and their emotions and the citizens of the United States sure let people know how they felt this week.

Holmes may be signing off, but he's far from signing out

At times this week Paul Holmes must have felt like he was at his own funeral. Since the decision was announced that he was leaving TVNZ and moving over to new kid on the block, Prime Television, the talkback lines and newspapers have been filled with people praising Paul as a fine broadcaster, bemoaning the fact that there'll never be another like him, and pledging their support for him once he starts beaming out of Prime.

A few churlish souls used the occasion to bury him, not to praise him, but for the most part there was enormous goodwill and support for his decision to quit the state broadcaster and head for greener pastures. And a lush old green those pastures are too, with a reported contract of $3 million over three years.

I don't begrudge him a cent. I've known Paul for years - we're old Wellingtonians. Paul, I hasten to add, is a slightly older version than myself. I'm a bit like the recording industry exec who turned down the Beatles, because I remember having a cheer-up coffee with him after he was the co-host with Angela d'Audney of an ill-fated television awards show in the days when they used to be broadcast. I was a jumped-up bint on Fair Go at the time, and I can remember saying kindly, but undoubtedly with a touch of condescension: "It's OK, Paul, but let's face it - I do TV, you do radio - we should stick to what we're good at."

Yes. Well. The last laugh was definitely his as he landed a plum television job at the same time as playing a key role in rebranding NewsTalk ZB. He took both shows to number one and there's been no one to touch him. I sank into broadcasting oblivion and spent years waitressing in Courtenay Pl. He is one of a kind: generous to colleagues and newcomers in the industry; his extraordinary talent, and genuine love of people - especially those who need a break - means he'll be a success wherever and whatever he chooses to do. I wish him well.