Eric Causer: Plain Kiwi tucker and no mucking around

COMMENT

New Zealand has been overwhelmed by an army of immigrants armed with the latest biological weapon, against which we have absolutely no defence - garlic.

Oh, how I and so many of my friends and acquaintances hate the stuff. It stinks.

It pervades the atmosphere and clings to your clothes and soft furnishings, much like the cloying smell of tobacco smoke.

In shopping malls, the smell is so gross that the mall owners install powerful air-conditioning systems in a vain attempt to expel the fumes.

The users of this muck appear to be quite oblivious to the effect that their bad breath has on so many passersby.

I recently invited a friend to dinner, and served a traditional roast beef and veggies. My guest remarked upon the beautifully flavoured meat and asked what I had used for garnish. "Nothing", I said.

"But you must have used something" she said, "it is such lovely meat."

"Nothing." I repeated. It was just the natural taste of the meat.

If you use garnish, you taste the garnish, not the meat.

What is the point of using good meat and vegetables, then covering up their delicious taste and flavour by adding muck?

If you wish to taste all the muck now added to food, then by all means eat muck - but don't ruin good food by trying to make it taste like something else.

But we traditionalists are fighting a losing battle as food manufacturers have adopted the maxim that if you can't beat them, join them. And so practically all the packaged food on offer is flooded with muck.

We no longer have food as such. It is now with cheese, with garlic, Thai fashion, Indian fashion, etc, etc. I have yet to see a food labelled Kiwi fashion.

I recently bought some crumbed fish fingers - "Delicious hoki in tasty breadcrumbs". Oh joy. I do like Hoki and the tasty breadcrumbs can only be quite harmless.

Having cooked them, I sat down to enjoy the result.

But what is that horrible taste? Is the fish "off"? No it smells okay. Back to the packet. The small print gave the answer.

The ingredients contained hoki fillets, and eighteen other ingredients ... including garlic powder.

I rest my case.

* Eric Causer is a Herald reader from Howick



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