Dialogue: It's still a great place to collect all the free stuff

By SUZANNE McFADDEN

"Everyone has a dream when they come to the Home Show." So said the man trying to sell curtains to the seamless queue of consumers who snaked past his booth for five long days.

There were apparently more than 70,000 dreamers who wandered through a maze of wooden chairs, steam mops and magic paint brushes that don't drip at this year's Auckland Home Show.

For some the dream was about finding the exit door without having to take out a second mortgage.

For me, it was a trip back in time - to the same plot of earth - to the savoured days when I was allowed to skip school to go to the Easter Show. It all flashed back entering Hall 8 - travelling through a time warp to the show of 1974.

There was a stall of corrugated plastic roofing that comes in a seemingly infinite palette of colours (we grew up under a green synthetic sky) and next door was a woman painting live portraits with an airbrush.

And if you still didn't believe you'd gone back 30-odd years, round the corner was Precious McKenzie, still a tidy little man pumping iron at his home exercise machine, and 70s TV entertainer Laurie Dee singing the praises of gutter-cleaning tools.

And mingled with it all was a sickly sweet waft of pink candy floss. I didn't find out if it was real or just part of the trip, albeit a brief one.

In those days, my little sister and I made the day into a contest to see who could collect the most free stuff. So I tried it again - and went home straining under the weight of a couple of plastic bags bulging with brochures on underfloor heating and bifold doors that may never be looked at again.

The temptation to buy was strong. It was a struggle not to succumb to the "but wait, there's more" pedlars.

The prize for best salesman had to go to the Australian in the apron extolling the wonders of the Safe-T Cut, the brainwave of an inventor in Paihia. He had housewives pulling notes from their handbags before he had revealed just how much they were going to save, or what the bonus free gift was. (For those who missed out, the special show price was not one, but two Safe-T Cut gadgets for just $20, with a bonus steak knife.)

Aside from the bargains, it was a grand show of local manufacturing talent. And there was no shortage of wooden outdoor furniture or vacuum cleaners.

You have never seen so many machines that clean - those that spit steam, some that strip grime from oven racks, and others that suck muck from your spouting.

The new Clean Green New Zealand pavilion was a hit. Did you know you can now buy compostable nappies?

There was not, however, a long queue to see the demonstration on how to turn your "ones and twos into trees".

Spare a thought for those who peddled their trade for five seemingly endless days under cover when the sun was finally shining outside - especially those who toiled in the heating corner with their backs to the flames for hours at a stretch.

"You think it's hot? Take my badge and stand here for the next four hours and see how you bake," said The Fireplace salesman, dressed in company black.

But the organisers of the Home Show reckon the spring weather was a godsend, bringing record crowds through their doors.

"People have been hibernating for so long with the rotten weather, they wanted to get out and about," said organiser Judith Talbot, who estimated the crowd at more than 70,000. "We were lucky that they came here and didn't all jump straight into their gardens."

Perhaps they were looking for a pair of secateurs for green fingers crippled with arthritis, or a string hammock for the backyard.

Saturday was the busiest day of the five, which caused headaches at the front gate. Some frustrated patrons waited in a bottleneck for up to an hour just to get in.

"That's our biggest downfall, we don't have enough parking," Ms Talbot said. "It's time the showgrounds took the parking issue in hand. We've been fighting that one for years."

Few people took up the option of free parking at Ericsson Stadium and riding a shuttle bus to Greenlane. "Aucklanders are so bad at doing that. We all want to park at the front door," she said.

The phone has been remarkably silent since I filled out almost every competition form going at the Home Show.

I expect at least one call saying we've won a bedside radio clock that we can collect if we just watch a video on Queensland timeshare apartments ...