CAT GOT HIS TONGUE
Right, so let's tick them off: In the last couple of months the target list has included women, gays, trade unionists, the Labour Party and Jews. if John Tamihere were a disease, he would be ebola.
And now we can add cat lovers to the list
of the infected. If you hadn't heard, his family moved house and left two cats for 11 days without food or water and the SPCA had to come to the rescue.
Rumour is the (appropriately) un-neutered males have since been put down. In any case the swine seems to have learned something from his latest appalling behaviour - he's learned to shut the hell up.
On Linda Clark's Nine to Noon radio show yesterday morning he was asked how his cats were. "They're doing very well," said he. If you believe in the after-life, said she. "I'm not interested in getting into that debate," said he.
And then he hung up. One wonders what the hell he's told the kids.
The big question, though is, is John Tamihere the worst possible person imaginable - a former member of the Baath Party? I think we should be told.
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NEVER THE SWAIN SHALL MEET: PART I
Please note this recent change of address: Osama Bin Laden, c/o Paul Swain, Minister For Undesirables, Parliamentary Buildings, Wellington.
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THE OMEN
You can stop trying to read the tea leaves and for god's sake don't kill the chickens. Why? Because here is the most important portent for the Labour party's election chances: The British New Labour member for the Peterborough seat in the East Midlands lost to her Conservative rival. The loser's name? Helen Clark.
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NEVER THE SWAIN SHALL MEET: PART II
Please note this recent change of address: Saddam Hussein, c/o Paul Swain, Minister For Undesirables, Parliamentary Buildings, Wellington.
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RED-FACED SQUAD
I'm not sure which is more appalling, that Ross Meurant attempted to auction his imported aluminium baton used during the 1981 Springbok tour or that some nameless Jaapie eventually paid in excess of $20,000 for the thing.
Anti-tour leader John Minto sportingly offered the old bicycle helmet he wore for protection if Meurant had given the profits to an appropriate African group. Bit late, John.
Another Auckland protester, Carin Wilson, offered his old helmet which he said bore a dent from a Monodok PR24 baton. Wilson, an artist, said he would supply it complete with a certificate as to the time and date of impact. "Do you think the buyer would be interested in a matched pair?"
But nothing amazes me in on-line auctioning after some moron paid $7475 for a cigarette butt.
And the baton wasn't the weirdest thing on sale on the net this week. Some West Auckland chancer attempted to sell a piece of toast which "spookily" resembled Helen Clark in the Marmite spread.
Meanwhile, some German geezer, 21-year-old student Benjamin Halbe, sold Pope Benedict's old VW on eBay. According to the Guardian newspaper, Halbe's sales pitch said: "Unbelievable! This is not an ordinary car. Your driving will always be save [sic] and blessed in it. You won't believe it, but the former car-holder was our new Pope, Benedict XVI."
He added, apparently without irony: "The car looks as if it was new due to the care it god [sic]." The eventual selling price? Nearly $340,000. Truly blessed then.
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NEVER THE SWAIN SHALL MEET: PART III
Please note this recent change of address: Mickey Mouse, c/o Paul Swain, Minister For Undesirables, Parliamentary Buildings, Wellington.
CAT GOT HIS TONGUE
Right, so let's tick them off: In the last couple of months the target list has included women, gays, trade unionists, the Labour Party and Jews. if John Tamihere were a disease, he would be ebola.
And now we can add cat lovers to the list
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