'I could've been Grace': Two women who dated killer describe 'narcissistic liar'

A woman who dated Grace Millane's murderer says he is a "narcissistic liar" who stalked her after she ended their brief relationship.

The woman has been watching the murder trial in horror - and believes she was lucky to escape the brief relationship unharmed.

A jury found the man, 27, guilty of Grace's murder on Friday afternoon. He cannot be named for legal reasons and will be sentenced in February.

"I can't even look at him, he still terrifies me," the man's former partner told the Weekend Herald.

"When I ended things, he would turn up unexpectedly at the train station the same time as me - just watching me. He wouldn't say anything to me which made me uncomfortable.

"In the end I moved because he knew where I lived and I didn't feel safe."

The pair matched on Tinder in early 2017 at a time the woman says she was "vulnerable and at a low point in her life."

It didn't take long for her to realise the man was a fantasist and a compulsive liar.

"He told me he was born in Wellington and his parents were drug addicts. They locked him in the car and set the car on fire while he was in the car but he got saved. He went into care and was adopted by the CEO of BP and his wife."

The woman, a sales manager, believed the murderer was a business development manager.

His Tinder profile when she matched with him falsely claimed he was a "senior corporate lawyer" who had studied at the University of Sydney.

"He always wore suits, that was 'his thing'," she said.

"The other weird thing is he never ate food. He only drank juice and alcohol. He told me he didn't need food to survive.

"He cried during sex which was odd."

The man was private about his personal life - but pushy about extracting details about her life.

Grace Millane's murderer was a sharp-dresser and at first seemed like a good guy - but quickly changed, a former parter says.

"I think that was his tactic to try and make you vulnerable to him. Every time you asked him a question it was like the answers were already mapped out, they would roll off his tongue. He was a natural talker and easy to believe."

But as his lies escalated, the woman grew suspicious.

"He would go 'MIA' [missing in action] for weeks- you wouldn't hear from him and then he'd start phoning again. He told me he had been in Australia for his nana's funeral. Then a week later his words changed. He told me, he had just buried his dad.

"He is sick and twisted. I mean who lies about their nana or dad dying?"

She now knows it was all lies - the man's father lives in Wellington and his grandmother is alive.

Fed up with his midnight calls and abusive rants the woman dumped him via text message and blocked him from all social media.

"He would still call me randomly. If you didn't talk to him, he would get verbally aggressive and turn on me and say I was needy - so I would hang up on him."

When she discovered the man was charged with murdering Grace Millane, she ran to the bathroom at work and had a panic attack.

"The sad thing is as soon as I saw him on the police interview I wasn't surprised. I felt sick and disgusted."

The woman is now engaged to a "wonderful" man she met on Tinder.

"We are really happy but my fiancé doesn't want to talk about it because it plays in his head - what if that was me?"

Second woman: 'He thinks he's god's gift to women but he's not'

A few months later, the woman's friend unwittingly matched with the man.
The second woman thought the man had "attractive qualities" - and even claimed he was related to Hollywood star Gwyneth Paltrow.

"He was a commercial lawyer, he loved horses and he looked like he took care of himself. The biggest thing for me was he had a daughter," said the woman, who is a solo mother.

The second woman said: "But I struggled to think what happens when he meets a young vulnerable woman who cannot stand up for herself. A year later that was Grace."

The pair agreed to meet for a casual drink in a bar in East Auckland.

But when she saw the man in person she had a "hunch" she had met him with her girlfriend at another bar a few months earlier.

While the man ordered drinks, the second woman went to the bathroom and texted her friend. They compared notes with each other and realised he was the same man her friend had dated.

The woman said they got on well and the conversation "flowed" but her mind kept "ticking over it was 'him'."

"He told his father he had finally met someone 'decent'. He also mentioned he was staying with an aunty because his mother had died from cancer.

"But in the back of my mind I'd already connected he was the guy my friend met earlier in the year.

So I didn't want to give anything away or do anything to agitate him because he was horrible to my friend."

The man had appeared charming and "flashed" his credit card around. He boasted he was related to Gwyneth Paltrow and name-dropped other "A" list celebrities and media personalities as friends.

When the man found out the woman had a young son he said he could relate to her, claiming he was also a parent.

"He didn't speak too much about being a dad other than he loved his daughter dearly and would do anything for her. He told her, 'She gets what she wants.'

"He showed me a photo of his daughter on his phone but it could have come from Google. She was a pretty, young, blonde-haired girl."

The woman said she wasn't surprised when told by the Herald that he had lied to her about having a child.

"He is a compulsive liar. It fills his ego by matching with women that he wants. He gets off on that.

"He gets off on a sense of power, a sense of entitlement. He thinks he's god's gift to women but he's not."

The apartment in the CityLife hotel where Grace Millane died.

When the woman mentioned they had a friend in common, the man's tone and mannerisms changed.

"He got heated so I said 'See you later, I have to go back to my son' and got up to leave.

The man demanded to go home with her. She refused.

He then yelled "I have every right to go home with you. You're not f***ing listening to me".
"I saw the anger in his eyes", she said.

But the man was persistent and followed the woman to her car.

"I parked near the bar where I could be seen. If I had parked elsewhere it might have been a different story," she said.

"I am the lucky one that got away. I am proud of myself for standing up to him and not caving in to his demands.

"But I struggled to think what happens when he meets a young vulnerable woman who cannot stand up for herself. A year later, that was Grace."

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