Fears of a lonely death if euthanasia isn't legalised

Bobbie Carroll isn't scared of death itself. She is more frightened of how she's going to die.

The 64-year-old has been close to it before when she spent five days on life support after contracting an infection from a stem cell transplant.

"This is probably close to what my death without euthanasia will look like. It is horrific. I never want to go there, I came out traumatised," she says.

"You're only allowed two visitors a time. I couldn't talk, I had tubes. I'm not going to go there, either legally or illegally. There's no dignity, absolutely no dignity. It's horrific."

She's now facing ongoing chemotherapy treatment for terminal blood cancer.

Carroll doesn't plan on wasting time focusing on the negatives though.

"I'm not 30, my kids have grown up, I've had a great life, I've done amazing things and, yes, my life is going to be shortened but I'm not 40 or even 50. I'm 64 with at least eight years in front of me," she says.

"All I want to do is control the end. That's all I want: to control the end. My choice."

She thinks it's important to discuss the end with your loved ones.

"When I picture my death, I picture my partner, my daughter, my grandchildren, my very closest friends. All of whom I've had the discussion with. And my choice. This is the level I've got to, that's what we've predetermined. There is nowhere else I can go. All treatment has been tried, everything's been done. Everyone knows where we're going. We've reached the mark, let's go."

Carroll says the End of Life Choice Bill, which has passed its first reading in Parliament, must become law.

She believes the choice of euthanasia is probably one of the country's last, big human rights issues that needs to be addressed.

"For me personally, the homosexual law reform bill was huge, gay marriage was huge," she says.

"Now, my partner and I have been together for 30 years and we have little interest in getting married but we fought for the choice. And I think we can draw a parallel here with euthanasia: I will fight for people to have the choice. It doesn't mean I'll use it. I may or may not use it, I want the choice. It's a human right, for me."

She says if it doesn't happen, people will arrange it illegally.

"The problem there is you must die alone because anyone with you can and will be implicated. And [face] possible criminal charges. So you have to die alone. It's not okay. I don't want to die alone."