Kerre Woodham: The 'elusive' Brethren

Imagine the electorate as a woman. A woman who's been unlucky in love.

For years, she's been let down, disappointed and on occasion, betrayed. And then, along came a special man.

A man who was no oil painting, to be sure. A man who could perhaps be seen as a little dull. But what did that matter in the face of his obvious sincerity?

He wasn't sophisticated, he wasn't slick, and that was part of his charm. He was smart, he cared, and the fact he was a bit of a klutz at this game just showed he hadn't learned the duplicity and prevarication that tainted the old hands.

But now, Don Brash has shown he's just like all the others. Increasingly throughout this campaign, his inexperience at politicking has hindered him.

Not knowing the broad bullet points of your own key policies I find inexcusable. As a uni student, I learned to cram for exams and it's not that hard to remember three or four key points around which you can rabbit on to your heart's content.

However, Don got over that, and then along came the pamphlet drop bagging the Greens in particular and Labour in general. Naturally, the Greens blamed the Nats, but Don denied all knowledge. Seven filthy rich members of the fundamentalist church, the Exclusive Brethren, came forward and put up their hands to being behind the campaign, and then it transpired Don had in fact met them a few times and did indeed have some prior knowledge.

Far from being in the dark over the whole business, he had a fair idea the sect members were behind the drop. When asked by Paul Holmes on NewstalkZB on Tuesday whether he knew who was responsible for the nasty pamphlets, he said, "I don't know, actually." On Thursday, on bFM, he said, "I knew they were going to issue some pamphlets attacking the government and I said that's tremendous."

Don insists he has no problem with both those statements. He says he didn't know for certain, and without being sure it was the Exclusive Brethren who'd authored the pamphlets, he wasn't going to dob them in.

And because he didn't know for certain, and he didn't ask them, he wasn't being parsimonious with the truth. Oh, please!

The National Party and its supporters have made huge mileage out of Helen Clark's slippery statements regarding the painting she didn't actually paint, and the fact she didn't know what speed her motorcade was travelling at. There's not a week gone by on talkback when Helen Clark's linguistic gymnastics haven't been derided by anti-Labour detractors. But what is good for the goose has to be good for the gander, and Don Brash thoroughly deserves the grilling he's getting by all and sundry.

If he's not a member of the Exclusive Brethren, he could certainly be a member of the Elusive Brethren with his attempt to evade fronting up to what he knew about the pamphlet drop. Personally, I couldn't give a fat rat's bum about the pamphlets.

There's the inherent hypocrisy in a group of fundamentalist Christians refusing to vote because they believe governments are ordained by God and then spending a fortune attempting to influence the make-up of that government. Don't they trust God to do the job properly? And I don't like the linking of right-leaning governments with religious groups.

Many of us would find ourselves alienated in a country ruled by a Government that has one hand on the Bible and the other on a text from the Chicago school of economic theory.

But it's Don Brash showing himself to be like all the others that has been so disappointing. Never mind the good doctor is fortunate this is an election of competing philosophies as opposed to personalities, so perhaps his gaffe won't cost his party as much as it might have in an election run along the lines of Miss Popularity.

He's apologised for any confusion his statements may have caused but an apology can't make up for the pain of finding out he's just like all the rest.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY