With each day the loss of his wife, granddaughter and cousin gets harder to bear for an English visitor who fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed.
Michael "Geoff" Eades, 63, was a "very brave guy", said his brother John McCombe yesterday, but was finding it more and more difficultas time went on.
"It seems that one day he's inconsolable and the next a tower of strength," he said.
Mr Eades' daughter Linieta, the mother of the toddler, was due to arrive from England today with her husband Jeff Harper and brother Paul.
"Emotionally that's going to be such a huge, huge meeting," said Mr McCombe.
Mr Eades was driving from Christchurch Hospital with his wife, Sera Eades, 60, cousin Valerie Bryan, 68, and granddaughter Iva Harper, 3, about 6.20pm on Wednesday when the car struck a power pole two minutes from where they were staying. The group had travelled from Derbyshire a few days before for a holiday and to visit Mr Eades' ill mother.
Mr McCombe had driven the group to hospital each day to visit his mother since their arrival, but Mr Eades offered to drive on Wednesday.
"He's just inconsolable at the fact that he was driving when his wife and cousin and granddaughter were killed."
Police have told the family Mr Eades was doing about 30-40km/h and appeared to have fallen asleep at the wheel, apparently still jetlagged.
Mr McCombe said his brother was using his Christian faith to get through the devastating crash. There had been tremendous support from family, friends and even strangers.
The family was overwhelmed by the efforts of emergency services both during and after the crash. Mr Eades was discharged from hospital on Thursday with a punctured lung, a broken ankle, broken ribs and bruising.
Inspector Heather Wells, road policing manager for Counties Manukau, said driver fatigue was an ongoing problem. "We think fatigue is responsible for a number of crashes, but it's a hard one to prove sometimes."
She urged drivers to pull over and nap, or stop for a coffee or a walk around, whenever they felt sleepy.
