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Home / New Zealand

Dannevirke man's cancer journey: 'Don't be afraid, grab it by the bloody neck'

Hawkes Bay Today
25 Aug, 2022 06:00 PM5 mins to read

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Tony Rhodes will not let cancer control him. Photo / Leanne Warr

Tony Rhodes will not let cancer control him. Photo / Leanne Warr

Tony Rhodes was 56 when he was first diagnosed with cancer.

He had a melanoma in his chest, but just months after that was taken out, he was seeing a specialist for prostate cancer in mid-2008.

It took a while for the Dannevirke man to get in to see the specialist, and when he did the specialist didn't seem to be that worried.

"I wanted it out."

By April 2009, he had the surgery and he kept a close watch by having blood tests every three months, despite the doctors telling him it wasn't necessary.

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Tony keeps records of the various tests so he can monitor what's happening. Photo / Leanne Warr
Tony keeps records of the various tests so he can monitor what's happening. Photo / Leanne Warr

"My philosophy has always been the more I knew about things the better. So the blood tests were quite important as a means to me of monitoring what was happening."

He felt it was an important message for others to be very responsible for their own health by getting access to their test results.

"It was always important in terms of me coping with the diagnosis. By keeping a monitoring viewpoint, by observing what was going on, you control the mind, the psychology of it."

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Doctors felt it would make patients more anxious, but in his mind, that was the opposite of what he was trying to do.

Cancer was an emotional disease, Rhodes said, because there were so many types of cancer and it was very common in terms of its various guises.

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"Some people think it's an immediate death sentence and they must stop doing that. It's not."

Rhodes felt early detection and intervention was key, but it didn't always happen that way.

Tony with wife Marion, who died from stomach cancer in 2016. Photo / Supplied
Tony with wife Marion, who died from stomach cancer in 2016. Photo / Supplied

His wife Marion was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2015, but only after several visits to the doctor over the course of a year.

She died in February 2016.

Rhodes said people needed to be assertive when it came to getting answers about their health.

"You've really got to hammer your case. You have to take responsibility for your health."

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He said most people were "abysmal" at picking up on symptoms, but the trouble with prostate cancer for instance was that not every person had the same symptoms.

"Don't be averse to going to the doctor. Make notes before you go, because you forget."

Not everyone's cancer journey was the same either, as people could react differently to the treatments.

"People need to be prepared for their own journey and that things will be a bit different for them.

"They shouldn't be overly cocky or overly afraid based on bias by other people's experiences."

Rhodes said people should approach every aspect of their diagnosis with an open mind.

"You pay attention to the way your body is reacting, responding, behaving, and you let somebody know. And that's all you can do.

"Don't be afraid of the bloody thing. Grab it by the bloody neck and go with it and be as aggressive as you can in terms of the way you're going to work with it."

About nine years after his first diagnosis of prostate cancer, Rhodes said it returned and he was now going through his third treatment of androgen deprivation therapy, a therapy which blocked or lowered male hormones to try to slow the cancer's growth.

He said he tried to keep as active as possible, He had good days and bad days but doesn't let it control his life.

"I like to think I'll beat it but if I'm realistic, no, I won't. But I'm not going to let it control me."

Having an organisation like the Cancer Society has helped many like Tony Rhodes.

He said the society's field officers provided a good service for people in the home, not in terms of caring for them but in providing support and a bit of emotional support through the journey.

Dannevirke also had a men's support group which would often travel to Palmerston North for meetings or organise guest speakers.

"There's a whole range of services that are available, from the men's group to psychology services," Rhodes said.

"There's a variety of ways that people can get assistance and support."

It's Daffodil Day, the annual fundraising appeal for the Cancer Society. Photo / NZME
It's Daffodil Day, the annual fundraising appeal for the Cancer Society. Photo / NZME

Cancer Society national chief executive Lucy Elwood said the society provided care and coordination services to people with cancer and their whanau including a helpline, counselling, support groups, accommodation and transport to treatment.

"We provide support to anyone who is affected by cancer," Elwood said.

"Extending our services to whanau relieves stress during what is a very difficult time."

Collectors will be out on the street today for Daffodil Day, or donations can be made via ANZ or through daffodilday.org.nz.

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