BUILDING TOMORROW: It's everyone's job to ensure our kids are safe

It's something we'd rather not talk about - the dark shadow behind the sunny idea we have about being Kiwis. But the fact is that our kids are not as safe as they ought to be. And that's a problem we all need to face.

As a nation, we may be measured by the value we place on children. When we use sayings such as "Children should be seen and not heard" and "Spare the rod and spoil the child" we reveal a lot about ourselves.

But attitudes toward children are reflected in public policy as well as in individual behaviour. The reality is that some countries are doing more than others to protect children from abuse and neglect.

The policies of more successful countries include economic and social initiatives to improve family incomes and neighbourhood services. A country that finds poverty among children and violence toward children unacceptable will ensure that economic and social policies focus on prevention as well as rehabilitation.

As countries and communities, our love and respect for children is built on our own self-respect. This, in turn, rests on a national and cultural identity which has meaning and purpose. When a sense of identity is damaged, as it can be with colonisation, children suffer.

Isolation from the mainstream life of a country - or neighbourhood as in the case of some minorities - has a terrible effect on the self-respect of adults. This, in turn, can be translated into abuse and neglect of children.

Low self-esteem, or depression, can be seen as anger turned on ourselves. When we feel very bad, we sometimes do things to hurt ourselves. We may drink or take drugs, or worse.

Hurting - even killing - our own children can also sometimes be a result of self-hatred.

This is no excuse, but it may be part of an explanation. And if it is, there are things we must do to reduce the number of adults who feel so bad about their lives.

Poverty is also linked with higher rates of child abuse and neglect. Poor parents are stressed parents: they find it hard to feed, clothe and shelter children and to arrange alternative care and holidays for them.

Countries that address poverty and inequality have lower rates of child death, and of abuse and neglect in general.

If we want to reduce child abuse we need to look at the value we place on children. A good measure is what we say about them in ordinary conversation. Quite often what we say is hostile or dismissive - that they are little shits or need a good hiding.

An enduring monument to children's inferior status is Section 59 of the Crimes Act, allowing reasonable force to be used against children. It has allowed juries in two recent court cases to find a parent not guilty of assault despite the fact that the children had been beaten with a piece of wood and a hose pipe, leaving welts and bruises. Had these same injuries been inflicted on an adult or an animal, prosecution would undoubtedly have been successful.

Many people have argued that this section of the law, which licenses brutality toward children, should be repealed. Others have argued that to do so would undermine parents' rights.

The public is starting to realise that the way we care for our children falls far short of what they have a right to expect - not to mention what many comparable countries are doing. We are only just beginning, for instance, to gather the information we need to effectively monitor the effects of government policies on our children.

We need child-centred policies, such as financial support for parents, accessible quality daycare and early childhood facilities, paid parental leave and workplaces that accommodate family events and crises.

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Building Tomorrow - paths to prevent child abuse