Christchurch: 'Stay calm' is advice for parents with upset kids

A vehicle drives through water on Ferry Road near Sumner. Photo / Getty Images

"If you need to cry, cry in the shower."

That is the advice to Christchurch parents after the latest spate of earthquakes.

Psychologists and counsellors are bracing for another influx of traumatised families, and say the best thing parents can do is stay calm.

"If parents get really, really frightened and scream every time there's an earthquake, there are going to be children growing up thinking this is a really scary thing," Salvation Army recovery team leader Sue Waight said.

Schools in the affected area were closed yesterday, but said most pupils were resilient.

"They've had enough time to get used to it," said Bromley School principal Scot Kinley.

But Pegasus Health chief executive Vince Barry said experience in overseas disasters such as Japan's 1995 Kobe earthquake suggested 5 to 10 per cent of the population would suffer chronic anxiety.

Pegasus, which serves 90 per cent of Christchurch GPs, has experienced an 18 to 20 per cent increase in referrals to its psychological services since the first earthquake in September and has referred between 2000 and 3000 people on to specialist mental health services.

Relationship Services, which is Government funded, counselled 2290 people in person and 3310 others by phone up to the end of May.

The Canterbury Charity Hospital, which draws on more than 200 volunteer doctors, nurses and other health professionals to provide free health services, has counselled more than 900 people since February.

"We thought we'd be helping, but we became the main centre offering [psychological] treatment," said manager Carl Shaw.

Psychologists and counsellors have come to help from Auckland, Whangarei, Sydney and beyond. Another volunteer will arrive from the United States on Monday.

Relationship Services regional manager Pablo Godoy said elderly people, who might be among the most vulnerable, were generally "very stoic".

"They don't ask for help," he said.

"But we are social animals, we need to be supported by others. So what they need is for people to be aware of that. People can go and just sit with them for a while, talk, have a cup of tea."

He said parents were seeking help for children who had reverted to infantile behaviours such as bed-wetting and soiling themselves. He urged people to get help rather than let such behaviours become entrenched.

"It's about establishing routines regardless of where you are at. It's creating a structure as much as possible that could provide stability, confidence and a sense of being connected and well taken care of."

Psychologist Deborah Stafford-Solomon, who volunteers at the Charity Hospital one day a week, said she advised parents to practise slow breathing and limit children's exposure to earthquake coverage on TV.

"It's like retraumatisation, a lot of the disaster happens over and over. So just switch it over to something different," she said.

Mrs Waight said most children were coping.

"We have found little children playing earthquake games, building blocks and knocking them over and practising hiding under tables. It's become part of their play."

Mr Kinley said schools aimed to provide stimulating teaching that took children's minds off the earthquakes.

"Our attitude is we are here, we have a bounce-back in our spirits, we are keeping purpose as a strength, we are just getting on with it," he said.

"I can only focus on the things that I can change, and I haven't quite learned how to control the forces of nature."

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