Pāpāmoa mother Kerry Bary has died after losing her battle with bowel cancer. She is pictured with her daughters Courtney and Jessica (right). Photo / Supplied
Pāpāmoa mother Kerry Bary has died after losing her battle with bowel cancer. She is pictured with her daughters Courtney and Jessica (right). Photo / Supplied
Pāpāmoa mother-of-three Kerry Bary has lost her battle with bowel cancer four weeks before Christmas.
An obituary provided by Bowel Cancer New Zealand on behalf of Bary’s family said she died peacefully at home on November 29, surrounded by her loving family.
She was dearly loved by her husband Rusty,a treasured mum and mother-in-law to Courtney, Jess and Liam, and Bronson, and a much-adored Gigi (grandmother) to Sienna.
The obituary said Bary would be remembered first and foremost for her love of family. Everything she did was anchored in them – in showing up, in making memories, in finding joy even when time became uncertain.
She was a devoted wife, a fiercely loving mum, and a nana who delighted in every moment with her granddaughter. Her warmth, humour and generosity of spirit filled the lives of those around her.
When faced with a bowel cancer diagnosis, Bary met it with the same honesty and courage that defined her life.
She spoke openly about how the disease changed her – physically, emotionally, and in the way it reshaped her future – but she never allowed it to define her. Instead, she chose to live fully and intentionally, holding close what mattered most.
In her own words, “With time running short, we live differently. We don’t put things off anymore. We take photos. We laugh loudly. We make memories.” And that is exactly what Kerry did.
She travelled with friends to Rarotonga, surprised her son with a special trip to Thailand, and brought together her wider family for a long-dreamed-of holiday to Fiji – a trip filled with laughter, tears, and moments she treasured deeply.
One of her greatest joys was being there to witness her daughter’s engagement – a moment she held close to her heart.
Pāpāmoa mother Kerry Bary, third from right, was diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer last year. She is pictured with her daughter Jessica's fiancé Liam (left), daughter Jessica, two-year-old granddaughter, son Bronson, husband Russell (Rusty), and daughter Courtney. Photo / Supplied
Bary found happiness in simple pleasures, too. An old school caravan she and Rusty lovingly restored became her happy place – somewhere they could pack up and head off on spontaneous adventures with family and friends.
Cancer did not stop her from living life to the fullest. She refused to let it steal her joy, her curiosity, or her sense of fun.
In the final months of her life, Bary made the decision to share her story publicly as part of Bowel Cancer New Zealand’s Never Too Young campaign.
“She did this not for sympathy, but with purpose – so others might recognise symptoms earlier, push for answers, and avoid the pain her family was living through," the obituary said.
Bary was clear in her message that bowel cancer was not just an older person’s disease, and that young people must be taken seriously when something didn’t feel right.
She wanted people to know that early detection saved lives – and that embarrassment, fear, or being told you were “too young” should never be reasons to stay silent.
Her hope was simple and powerful – that if even one person sought help sooner because of her words, another family might be spared this loss.
Though her time was shorter than she hoped, Bary remained deeply grateful for every day she had. She spoke often of holding Rusty’s hand, laughing with her children, and cherishing the love that surrounded her.
