Autism Acceptance Month: Whangārei mum Ashleigh Wyse shares diagnosis journey

Following on from Autism Acceptance Month, Reporter Brodie Stone spoke with three Whangārei families about their lived experiences parenting autistic children - and the messages they might have for readers. Today, we share Annalise’s story.

Ashleigh Wyse knew from her daughter’s first day earthside that all was not what it seemed.

A standard hearing test while Annalise was asleep was “impossible to get a reading on” because her brain was “too active”.

When they tried six weeks later, they had the same issue.

From then on, Wyse described years of “fighting with doctors” to get her daughter a diagnosis and some help.

“It took me two and a half years of being told ‘oh, she’s just a normal kid’.”

Wyse disagreed. Mealtimes were a nightmare and sleep was not much better.

“She was constantly active and very defiant. Getting her in her car seat was a big one. She was such a little Houdini.”

They finally got a diagnosis when Annalise was two and a half, something Wyse described as a relief.

She finally had the information and support needed to move forward.

“It was kind of a relief to know it wasn’t all in my head, but then it was also a bit of a shock too.”

Now 6, Annalise attends her local school happily thanks to the presence of a learning support co-ordinator.

Wyse said it’s been a weight off her shoulders knowing her daughter is well-cared for.

“They don’t call me up every time she has a moment.”

She shared one memory where Annalise had become so overwhelmed over the prospect of school photos that she had stripped out of her uniform and thrown it in the bin.

“They just dealt with it, and then in the afternoon, she went to class as if nothing was wrong.”

She thoroughly enjoys being outdoors but how going out will go depends entirely on her mood.

The mum of two said if she was a new mother and Annalise was her first child, she would be a “wreck”.

Too much noise can be too stimulating for Annalise and she avoids certain food textures.

Wyse said a trip to the grocery store can be an overwhelming prospect and sometimes results in big “meltdowns”.

She said she is all too aware of judgemental looks and whispers that follow them, but she has also experienced a lot of kindness.

Ashleigh Wyse believes her "go-getter" daughter will be a valued member of society. Photo / Michael Cunningham

She recalled once when a mother helped her pack her groceries into her car during one of Annalises’ meltdowns.

With the right support, guidance and help, Wyse has faith that Annalise will be fine.

She’s attended the Incredible Years Autism programme, something that made a difference in her parenting.

“I’m feeling quite confident that she will be valued member of society. Capable of going out, living on her own and working.”

She described Annalise as a “go-getter” with a love of dinosaurs and cars.

“If you look in our lounge, you won’t see that I’m raising a little girl,” she said.

Recently Annalise had her first sleepover with a friend, a huge milestone which didn’t go perfectly – but Wyse was proud nonetheless.

She’s determined to give her daughter quality time, something she forgets after her busy days as a community support worker.

Her message to others is to give parents the benefit of the doubt.

“Don’t judge – you don’t know the full story,” she said.

For more support and information about autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you can contact the following:

Alltogether Autism 0508 236 236 or www.altogetherautism.org.nz/

IHC New Zealand 0800 442 442 or www.ihc.org.nz/

Autism New Zealand (09) 846 0913 or autismnz.org.nz/

Brodie Stone is an education and general news reporter at the Advocate. Brodie has spent most of her life in Whangārei and is passionate about delving into issues that matter to Northlanders and beyond.