Jamaine Ross has a blunt message for voters in next month’s local body elections: “Don’t vote for me”.
The father, husband and television producer is standing for the Waitākere Ranges Local Board – not because he wants the job, but because he told a room of 30 people he would.
“And when I say I’m going to do something, I do it, even if I don’t want to,” he writes in his candidate statement to West Auckland voters.
“If I won, I’d be spending less time with my adorable 5-year-old daughter. If you vote for me, you’ll break her heart.”
Ross also admits he’s not qualified for the role: “Apparently, it involves reading lots of official documents. The only things I read are young adult novels set in post-apocalyptic futures.”
He closes with a final plea: “So don’t vote for me. This isn’t reverse psychology. I’m serious. Don’t vote for me. I don’t want this job.”
On social media, Ross has revealed a hint of political seriousness, noting there have been five candidate meetings – four he wasn’t invited to and one where he says he was ghosted.
“It seems a bit suspicious. Are they purposefully excluding the only Māori candidate out of 20? Probably not. They are probably just excluding the one guy who consistently says he doesn’t want to do the job.”
As a result, Ross has organised his own meet-the-candidates event on September 20 at Poppys Comedy Club in Manurewa, South Auckland.
But there’s a catch. Entry is $10 and Ross admits it will exclusively be a stand-up gig where he will talk about what’s going on in his life at the moment, “which is this whole fiasco”.
On one comment page under the heading, “Best candidates write-up for one of the Auckland Local Body elections”, Ross has won the hearts, if not the votes, of dozens of people.
“In real life, he’s actually a really nice guy. Met him a couple of times in my line of work. He would be great,” to which Ross responded: “Stop spreading nasty compliments about me.”
Said another person: “This is my electorate. Going to be very hard not to tick that box.”
Ross continues a tradition of wacky characters popping up in West Auckland at local body elections.
In 2019, Dillon Tooth broke the tradition of billboards featuring smiling politicians with make-a-difference-type slogans by creating about 20 unique signs made from old fence posts and pallets donated by locals.
Tooth, who also stood for a seat on the Waitākere Ranges Local Board, had some help from wife Esther Tooth, who designed and painted each billboard by hand.
At the same election, a jokester from West Auckland created a splash after putting up a local election billboard asking residents to vote for Animal from The Muppets, with “you’re going to get a muppet anyway” plastered across the bottom.
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