Love shouldn't hurt message at seminar

AWARENESS: Lesley Elliott and Bill O'Brien now travel the country raising awareness of domestic violence. PHOTO: SUPPLIED

A presentation from the mother of Sophie Elliott stopped for a moment's silence in recognition of another university student recently killed through domestic violence.

Lesley Elliott spoke to Massey University last week about the dangers of being in a relationship riddled with abuse. Mrs Elliott represented The Sophie Elliott Foundation, a trust she initiated after the death of her 22-year-old daughter.

Sophie was stabbed more than 200 times in 2008 by ex-boyfriend and tutor Clayton Weatherston in her bedroom, while her mother was downstairs.

"I heard Sophie screaming and went up ... I opened the bedroom door. Sophie was white and the room was red. He shut the door on me and I just let him," Mrs Elliott said.

She did not want to go into the details because the incident was still hard to speak of but, says she now focuses on making people aware of the signs of an abusive relationship. After the incident Mrs Elliott said she visited the Women's Refuge website and found a checklist of an abusive relationship. She found most of these signs were present in Sophie's on/off relationship with Weatherston.

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Mrs Elliott said, although they were there, neither she nor Sophie saw them.

"I didn't like the way he treated her and I used to say 'Sophie you don't have to put up with this'. She said "I know mum, I know'.

Weatherston had begun psychologically abusing Sophie within the first three weeks of their relationship.

"He didn't physically abuse her until the end ... I guess that's why we missed it. If it starts early, it won't ever change."

She also referred to several women who had approached her since Sophie's death admitting "that's exactly what I went through". The presentation, entitled Love Shouldn't Hurt, also included a 20-minute film featuring interviews of Sophie's closest friends.

The talk came within weeks of Jesse John Ferris-Bromley beginning a prison sentence for the murder of Massey University student Virginia Ford.

Mrs Elliott was also joined by ex-policeman Bill O'Brien who co-wrote the book Sophie's Legacy.

HOW TO GET HELP

If you are in immediate danger please call 111. For help or more information please call these helplines:

Women's Refuge free national crisisline operates 24/7 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 www.womensrefuge.org.nz.

Shine, free national helpline 9am - 11pm every day 0508 744 633 www.2shine.org.nz.

It's Not Ok: Information line 0800 456 450 www.areyouok.org.nz.

Manawatu Abuse Intervention Network (06) 354-5355 or 027 356 1701.