Zoella: The YouTube star trapped in a digital prison

The inside of the tube has spoken. The video blogger, or vlogger, Zoe Sugg – better known as Zoella – has opened up about the mental health issues that the children of the Internet – she is 28 – face because they live on the Internet. It magnifies some things, removes others utterly, and can have the potential to become a mirror which distorts absolutely everything.

Zoella is rich – her vlogging has made her a $4.8 million fortune – and loved (she lives with another vlogging star called Alfie Deyes). She is also very influential - currently no.2 on the 2018 influencer rich list.

She is an Internet princess from an Internet dynasty – her brother Joe is also a famous vlogger and soon-to-be Strictly contestant – she creates Internet content from her own soul and sells it for profit. She is, essentially, a confessional writer, and the appetite for new confessions as often as the punter wants is insatiable. Because this is the Internet Age.

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Anyone with some form of mental illness will have those days where they feel invincible, you tick everything off your list. You feel like you can think more clearly & that the hurdles have been taken away for a clear run to the finish line. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. It’s the feeling you wish you had ALL THE TIME but in reality, it doesn’t always work that way. Having been working every week for three and half years on my anxiety I’ve certainly moved mountains, but those mountains are still there & they are tough to climb on some days. I definitely beat myself up about it more now than I used to, I get frustrated & feel deflated. I worry that people won’t understand because I’m not “the anxious person” that I used to be. In reality, it doesn’t matter, because everyone is fighting a battle & some days it will always feel harder than others regardless of what you’re battling. I’ve always spoken honestly about mental health on my channels, because I’m very passionate about it. One of the biggest issues most people face when dealing with mental health issues is the internet. It’s a cure, but it’s also a curse. It’s a place to find like minded people who share the same interests, experience the same issues you do & a place to feel less alone. It can also be a place that harbours & breeds negativity (which only seems to be getting worse) & I’ve seen first hand the awful effects that can have on someone (myself included). I just want to remind you that YOU are in charge of what you consume on the internet. If there is someone you follow that brings you down or sparks negative emotion regardless of whether that’s their intention, unfollow. We are a generation of scrollers & we consume so much on the internet that we probably don’t realise how much of it is detrimental to us or our wellbeing. I also think it’s important to be someone spreading the love & positivity. The internet is a fantastic tool for so many amazing things, let’s drown out the bad stuff by spreading more of the good. Encourage, support & have more empathy for others in this space, who may be going through a tough time & need it more than you’ll ever know. 💗

A post shared by Zoë Sugg (@zoesugg) on Aug 15, 2018 at 11:02am PDT

At the root of it is money. Zoella's website – chatty, colourful, unthreatening - has sections (departments) called Beauty, Food, Life, Places, Style – and Shop. The shop sells mostly make-up, and also, when I last checked, a cape made of what appears to be tinsel. She has two YouTube channels: the first sells things, and the second is the video diary of her own life that accelerates the selling of these things.

Almost everything that Zoella is, and does, is streamed over the Internet. That must ache after a while, particularly if you grew up with it. But privacy is an ebbing concept, and I think of Zoella as a Rapunzel, trapped in a computer programme, combing her hair and then telling us about the conditioner she used, for want of anything better to do.

But then in a post on instagram where she has 10.7 million followers (apologies for the glut of numbers, but all Internet stars deal in numbers, because the numbers made them stars) she has revealed battled with anxiety and revealed that she has been "working" on her anxiety for three and a half years. That is the authentic voice of the workaholic. She is "working" on her happiness. "I definitely beat myself up about it more now than I used to," she said, "I get frustrated & feel deflated." I am not cynical enough to believe she said this for hits. I believe her.

"One of the biggest issues most people face when dealing with mental health issues is the internet," she says, "It's a cure, but it's also a curse." The cure is like-minded people, who feel as she does, and can support her; except no-one feels as she does, except perhaps the no.1. on the 2018 influencer rich list. So, who can support her?

She is alone in her pixelated castle with her handsome vlogger prince. The curse is that these like-minded people might as well be fictional, for the impact they have on her life apart from money. Zoella's 10.7 million Instagram followers are not her friends, even if they admire her prettiness and her taste. It would be more accurate to say that they are consuming her.

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I’m feeling really happy & positive today, so I wanted to spread that a little bit by saying that if there is something troubling you, something you’re finding hard, take courage in the fact that you have made it this far! Everyone is fighting some sort of battle, so let’s make it a little easier for them by giving them a simple injection of kindness! Tag someone you love and tell them something you love about them. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference 💗

A post shared by Zoë Sugg (@zoesugg) on Jun 19, 2018 at 9:13am PDT

Zoella's 10.7 million Instagram followers are not her friends – it would be more accurate to say they are consuming her.

Zoella's whole brand is based on a warped ideal of friendship. Here she is, in her familiar house, which her followers know but have not visited, smiling brightly and confiding in them in a bubbling, hesitant voice. She is an ideal friend – a 12-year old's idea of a beauty – but she is not a real one. Nourish yourself online and what is left over in the real world? Not a lot, which is why anxiety in the young is spiking. They have a lot to worry about. Friendships could ease it, but possibly not ones like this.

"We are a generation of scrollers & we consume so much on the internet that we probably don't realise how much of it is detrimental to us or our wellbeing" she says. She is right and why wouldn't she be? This is what she knows because it is her job to sate the hunger she has created.

There isn't much data yet on exactly how the Internet is destroying our mental health, and interfering with our normal processes, but any avid user with any self-awareness could tell you it makes you feel insane. I could barely settle down to write this column for shouting at people on Twitter. We will know soon how the whirly-gig of internet is affecting us and the post-Zoella generation may well burn their smartphones.

I don't care about her blusher tips, or where she drank tea, or what kind, but this post of hers felt truthful. It is hard to interpret it as anything other than a cry for release from inside her digital prison. It remains to be seen whether she will join in the swell of support for scroll free September. Until then, I am sure, it will be a case of back to selling.