I really thought we'd moved past the tired old of narrative of "gay marriages affect the sanctity of straight marriages".
Appears not, according to Australians Nick and Sarah Jensen. The Canberra couple have pledged to divorce if marriage equality comes into effect in their nation.
The referendum on same-sex marriage equality in Ireland last month enticed an unexpected turnout. The Irish overwhelming voted "yes" to extension of marriage rights to gay couples and this has put the spotlight back on Australia - now the only major English-speaking country in the world to deny full marriage rights to all of its citizens.
The Australian Government continues to drag its feet on the issue, despite Prime Minister Tony Abbott's gay sister calling her brother out on his resistance to marriage equality.
Every day, I check my social media feeds and feel agony coming from my Australian brothers and sisters. As they post loving pictures with their betrothed partners and beg their government to "get with the programme", their desperation is palpable.
They cannot believe that somehow, despite all the advancements in equal marriage rights across the globe in the last few years, that "The Lucky Country" continues to be left behind.
Here's a little fact. Australia is not called The Lucky Country because of its natural resources, its weather, or its economic prosperity. It's called The Lucky Country because it is fortunate enough to have survived so many awful, prohibitive governments.
Such a notion is ever relevant right now as Australians continue to protest against the ridiculousness that is their Powers That Be. But, Australia will prevail, and all Australians will eventually be able to marry if they continue to fight.
They have to fight not just their Government, though, but people like Nick and Sarah Jensen, who believe they have the right to dictate the meaning of marriage for all.
The Jensens need a pretty serious reality check. If they are pledging to divorce for the sake of a political statement, it is they who disrespect the institution of marriage they so claim to revere.
Not because the concept of divorce belittles such an institution by itself (it doesn't), but because of the mere fact this couple is willing to throw away its own vows in pure spite.
This spite extends from the couple's obvious disregard for anyone who does not confirm to their Christian ideals. However, while I'm tired of the "gay marriages affect the sanctity of straight marriages" narrative, I'm equally bored of Christianity being used as an excuse for bigotry.
Uniformly, Christianity is about love and respect. Many, many Christian churches bless same-sex unions in the same regard they do straight unions, and many, many Christian individuals support same-sex marriage like any other marriage.
I can personally vouch for this. At my own wedding, one of our two witnesses was our best friend and a chancellor of an Anglican Diocese.
People like the Jensens hide beneath a misappropriated veil of Christian conservatism. They are too afraid to be true, considerate Christians; too scared to love and respect even each other and the vows they took themselves.
So here's a message to the Jensens, Prime Minister Abbott, and all of those masking their intolerance with purported Christianity: no marriage affects anybody except for the two people in that marriage.
Stop worrying about "the children" and how marriage equality affects them, and start worrying about the closed-minded, negative, hateful children you are bringing into this world. It's your job as parents, or hopeful parents, to educate your children about diversity, and to accept other families and the diversity that makes them.
More specifically to the Jensens and any other couple that believes divorce is favourable over marriage equality, owing to the fact they believe upsets the Lord and the soil on which we all stand: you probably should get separated now. Your marriage is already doomed to fail because you clearly don't take your own commitment seriously enough.
I've been married to another man for more than six months now. My definition of marriage doesn't need to conform to someone else's definition of marriage. I believe my marriage is about love and commitment. The Jensens believe their marriage is "part of God's intimate story". Both of these definitions are valid. Their classification does not supersede mine, because their marriage does not supersede mine.
Aussies, keep fighting. We, the English-speaking world (comprising New Zealand, the UK, Ireland, Canada, South Africa, and many of the states in the US) are all supporting you. Our governments cannot pressure your Government to "get with the programme". But you, the people of Australia, can.
Keep pushing your Government, and keep challenging those like the Jensens who claim to be working for the good of the institution of marriage.
Realistically, they are doing nothing but damage to it.