UK principal's plans to expel students in relationships would result in secrecy and risk-taking says counsellor

Toby Belfield has threatened to expel any students who form romantic relationships at his school. Photo / Daily Telegraph

A UK principal's threat to expel students who are in a relationship would only cause students to do it anyway in secret and take more risks, says an Auckland school counsellor.

South Auckland-based Catherine Barclay said the rule would be ineffectual and said experimenting with relationships was a key part of adolescence.

The comment follows the head teacher of a Welsh school's claims that he would expel any student who had a boyfriend or girlfriend, claiming it was a distraction from studies.

Toby Belfield, principal at $65,700-a-year Ruthin School in north Wales, told staff he "strongly disapproves" of pupils striking up romances with each other.

He vowed to draw up a list of Year 11 or Lower Sixth students – usually aged between 15 and 17 – who are in relationships and said that they can "expect to find new schools in September".

Barclay said she thought Belfield's rule was an extreme response and questioned how effective it would be.

"From what I understand of young people, these kinds of rules aren't going to stop them having relationships," she told Larry Williams of Newstalk ZB.

Adoloscence was a time of experimenting with relationships and understanding what it meant to connect with other people.

Banning relationships would cause resentment and make students be secret about their romantic affairs.

An alternative could be a no PDA rule, or a ban on "public displays of affection", such as hand-holding or kissing, she said.

Helping adolescents navigate relationships and teaching them healthy boundaries was important she said, and banning them could stop that happening.

"It's the happiest time [being in an relationship]. There is excitement and it does becomes a focus."

Having a relationship could distract students and affect learning, but that couldn't be stopped, she said.

"These kinds of rules won't change what they do."

The biggest risk of threatening youths with expulsion was that they would take more risks and be less safe in their behaviours, she said.

The rule would result in more negative effects than good, she said.

Belfield had previously spoken of expelling students because the prestigious school is over subscribed and last year banned students from going to the park or restaurants, ordering takeaways, smoking and drinking – regardless of their age.