"The worst is yet to come — having to tell it to her — reliving it and dealing with it all over again."
The heartbroken mother and grandmother says she did everything in her power to try to keep Tara away from her abuser but he was "manipulative" and "cunning" and she kept going back.
When the final attack happened, despite a history of abuse, Natalie still couldn't believe Patea had taken things that far.
"I always had hope she would be OK.
"But that hope was finally ripped from me when they told me her injuries weren't survivable."
"I still can't fathom it," she says.
"I don't understand how that's meant to be love."
New Zealand-born Tara Brown died as a result of injuries sustained when her ex-boyfriend Lionel Patea brutally attacked her. Photo / Instagram
Natalie, who has been looking after her little Aria since the tragedy, says she was robbed of her daughter and robbed of her role as a grandmother.
"It robbed me of being her grandmother, I have to be her mother now.
"I have to do all the things Tara should have been doing with her," she said.
"Tara should be the first one celebrating those milestones, not me. I'm the one Tara should be ringing to say 'first tooth today' and 'first day of school today'.
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women, focusing this year on sexual violence and the issue of consent. www.whiteribbon.org.nz
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