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Home / Lifestyle

The six ‘I want’ phases every midlife woman will go through

By Shane Watson
Daily Telegraph UK·
22 Sep, 2023 03:40 AM4 mins to read

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From pension plans to dream holiday homes, here’s what women over 30 think they do (and don't) want. Photo / Getty Images

From pension plans to dream holiday homes, here’s what women over 30 think they do (and don't) want. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

Who knew that a GirlGuiding survey could ruffle feathers? This year’s has struck a nerve, however. When asked what they would most like to achieve by the age of 30, the majority of girls and young women (aged 7 to 21) said they’d like to own their own house.

A decade ago, a husband and children were top of the list and this shift in priorities, from home-making to house-owning, has caused brows to furrow in some quarters.

But here’s the thing: whatever young women say, they know not what lies ahead and, regardless of whether they think they want a house or a wedding at this point, there are still six “I want” phases of a woman’s life after the age of 30.

They go roughly like this:

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I want to be happy single. Photo / Getty Images
I want to be happy single. Photo / Getty Images

30-35

I want to know what I want. I want to have fun. I want admirers. I want lots of flings but none that hurt. I want more money. I want a promotion. I want to look good doing yoga. I want to be good in bed. I want to be happy single. I want to be spontaneous. I want to go to the Maldives and live in Paris or New York.

Biggest envy: Our friend who got a job in New York.

Biggest lie: I don’t want a “boyfriend”.

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 I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband. Photo / 123rf
I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband. Photo / 123rf

35-40

I want someone with whom to share my life and, if I already have, I want more from the relationship. I want children and, if I have them, I want a lot more support and me time. I want romantic mini-breaks. I want to be dumped on less at work. I want to make plans. I want strangers to fancy me. I want more attention. I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband.

Biggest envy: Her hands-on husband.

Biggest lie: I don’t know if I want children.

I want something to happen. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover.
I want something to happen. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover.

40-46

I want something to happen. I want a transformative haircut. I want a single girl’s flat. And a single girl’s sex life. Or I want a bigger house. Or a kitchen extension. Or a better job. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover. I want good arms. I want people to say “that’s so you” and “you’re an amazing mother/stepmother”. I want a break. I want time. I want someone to check my passport and do a double-take because they Seriously Can Not Believe It!

Biggest envy: People whose kids are at boarding school.

Biggest lie: I never compare myself with other people.

I want to be a better cook. Photo / Getty Images
I want to be a better cook. Photo / Getty Images

46-53

I want a garden. I want to be a better cook. I want to be respected. I want to read more books. I want to be less angry and hot and resentful and drink less. I want friends who aren’t too busy to talk. I want to run away. I want to go dancing before I care what I look like. I want to live in the country, or not.

Biggest envy: Their fat pension plan.

Biggest lie: I know where I’m happiest.

I want to get fit and get more Hurley. Photo / Getty Images
I want to get fit and get more Hurley. Photo / Getty Images

54-60

I want to get fit and get more Hurley. I want family holidays. I want a dog. I want a better life balance. I want more challenges. I want apologies (from friends, children, husband, the Government). I want recognition. I want a project. I want to buy paint and underwear and rings.

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Biggest envy: The holiday house.

Biggest lie: I’d love to not work.

I want more time with real friends and my family.
I want more time with real friends and my family.

60-plus

I want more time with real friends and my family. I want to move. I want to get rid of most of my clothes. I want to take all the vitamins I buy. I want more hair. I don’t want to look good when I exercise or care what I look like on the dance floor. I don’t want to go in the sun ever again. I want to get up earlier. I want to give back.

Biggest envy: Extended happy families.

Biggest lie: I don’t care that my denim shorts days are over.

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