NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
    • The Great NZ Road Trip
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • Deloitte Fast 50
    • Generate wealth weekly
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

The six ‘I want’ phases every midlife woman will go through

Shane Watson
Daily Telegraph UK·
22 Sep, 2023 03:40 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save
    Share this article
From pension plans to dream holiday homes, here’s what women over 30 think they do (and don't) want. Photo / Getty Images

From pension plans to dream holiday homes, here’s what women over 30 think they do (and don't) want. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

Who knew that a GirlGuiding survey could ruffle feathers? This year’s has struck a nerve, however. When asked what they would most like to achieve by the age of 30, the majority of girls and young women (aged 7 to 21) said they’d like to own their own house.

A decade ago, a husband and children were top of the list and this shift in priorities, from home-making to house-owning, has caused brows to furrow in some quarters.

But here’s the thing: whatever young women say, they know not what lies ahead and, regardless of whether they think they want a house or a wedding at this point, there are still six “I want” phases of a woman’s life after the age of 30.

They go roughly like this:

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
I want to be happy single. Photo / Getty Images
I want to be happy single. Photo / Getty Images

30-35

I want to know what I want. I want to have fun. I want admirers. I want lots of flings but none that hurt. I want more money. I want a promotion. I want to look good doing yoga. I want to be good in bed. I want to be happy single. I want to be spontaneous. I want to go to the Maldives and live in Paris or New York.

Biggest envy: Our friend who got a job in New York.

Biggest lie: I don’t want a “boyfriend”.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
 I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband. Photo / 123rf
I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband. Photo / 123rf

35-40

I want someone with whom to share my life and, if I already have, I want more from the relationship. I want children and, if I have them, I want a lot more support and me time. I want romantic mini-breaks. I want to be dumped on less at work. I want to make plans. I want strangers to fancy me. I want more attention. I want what she’s got – especially her curtains and maybe her husband.

Biggest envy: Her hands-on husband.

Biggest lie: I don’t know if I want children.

I want something to happen. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover.
I want something to happen. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover.

40-46

I want something to happen. I want a transformative haircut. I want a single girl’s flat. And a single girl’s sex life. Or I want a bigger house. Or a kitchen extension. Or a better job. I want a husband who knows how to put on a duvet cover. I want good arms. I want people to say “that’s so you” and “you’re an amazing mother/stepmother”. I want a break. I want time. I want someone to check my passport and do a double-take because they Seriously Can Not Believe It!

Biggest envy: People whose kids are at boarding school.

Biggest lie: I never compare myself with other people.

I want to be a better cook. Photo / Getty Images
I want to be a better cook. Photo / Getty Images

46-53

I want a garden. I want to be a better cook. I want to be respected. I want to read more books. I want to be less angry and hot and resentful and drink less. I want friends who aren’t too busy to talk. I want to run away. I want to go dancing before I care what I look like. I want to live in the country, or not.

Biggest envy: Their fat pension plan.

Biggest lie: I know where I’m happiest.

I want to get fit and get more Hurley. Photo / Getty Images
I want to get fit and get more Hurley. Photo / Getty Images

54-60

I want to get fit and get more Hurley. I want family holidays. I want a dog. I want a better life balance. I want more challenges. I want apologies (from friends, children, husband, the Government). I want recognition. I want a project. I want to buy paint and underwear and rings.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Biggest envy: The holiday house.

Biggest lie: I’d love to not work.

I want more time with real friends and my family.
I want more time with real friends and my family.

60-plus

I want more time with real friends and my family. I want to move. I want to get rid of most of my clothes. I want to take all the vitamins I buy. I want more hair. I don’t want to look good when I exercise or care what I look like on the dance floor. I don’t want to go in the sun ever again. I want to get up earlier. I want to give back.

Biggest envy: Extended happy families.

Biggest lie: I don’t care that my denim shorts days are over.

Save
    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

Is red wine better for you than white? The answer may surprise you

07 Jan 05:00 AM
Premium
OpinionKim Knight

Kim Knight: My weekend with Waiheke's rude and entitled

07 Jan 04:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

20 things to declutter right now to start the year lighter

07 Jan 12:00 AM

Sponsored

Sponsored: Can you go bold?

04 Jan 07:37 AM
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Premium
Is red wine better for you than white? The answer may surprise you
Lifestyle

Is red wine better for you than white? The answer may surprise you

Washington Post: What you need to know about red versus white in terms of health benefits.

07 Jan 05:00 AM
Premium
Premium
Kim Knight: My weekend with Waiheke's rude and entitled
Kim Knight
OpinionKim Knight

Kim Knight: My weekend with Waiheke's rude and entitled

07 Jan 04:00 AM
Premium
Premium
20 things to declutter right now to start the year lighter
Lifestyle

20 things to declutter right now to start the year lighter

07 Jan 12:00 AM


Sponsored: Can you go bold?
Sponsored

Sponsored: Can you go bold?

04 Jan 07:37 AM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2026 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP