The Dating Diaries: 'I've fallen for my ex boyfriend's best friend'

Is he the David to your Victoria? Find out when to run, and when two should become one. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

"I've started seeing someone, and everything is going well; sparks are flying. The only problem is he is my ex boyfriend's best friend. What do I do?"

Sometimes in life, the universe throws us a curve ball so intense feels like no matter what we do to try and avoid it, it still hits.

But the "what fresh hell is this?" can be quickly followed by "maybe it's not so bad" as long as you tread carefully.

Trust me - because while not everyone has fallen down the "inappropriate crush" rabbit hole, I have.

I know what it's like to get those fluttery butterflies in your stomach when you are tempted to "homie hop" (hook up with your ex's friend).

While it's never the dream scenario and friendships are at risk, I am a huge believer that flirty banter deserves to be explored. What if this is your David Beckham and you are his Victoria? After all, "if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" is open for interpretation right?

So instead of chugging back a bottle of your favourite rosé, throwing on the Spice Girls during a hot girl walk, or stressing about the naughtiness of the whole situation, here's what you can do.

Address your feelings

You can roll your eyes all you like, but we both know this situation begs the question; do you genuinely like this person or are you in self-destruct mode?

Before you contemplate the first move, ask yourself is your connection real with this person or do you just want to get a rise out of your ex?

If you went for the latter, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Instead, consider downloading a dating app and get your flirt on drama-free. You'll thank yourself later, trust me.

Avoid that whole 'secret' thing

Secret rendezvous are hot, they're saucy, and they give a whole new meaning to the word excitement - especially at the beginning of a relationship. But if there is one thing we can learn from Euphoria season two, it's that any dating situation that includes friends and exes is going to be an absolute mess.

And naturally, the first thing you're going to want to do is to keep it a secret.

Now, I don't doubt your secret-keeping abilities, but the more comfortable you get with someone, the more relaxed you get. You let your guard down and before you know it someone catches you two swapping saliva. They throw you under the bus, everyone cries and it's an all-round bad situation.

Don't be like Cassie.

Time for 'the talk'

I know I'm also scared from the time my parents had 'the talk' with 13-year-old me, but I promise this one will be less awkward - kind of.

You or your new partner should have a chat with your ex regardless. I mean, how would you feel if the situation was in reverse and your ex and best friend soft launched their relationship on Instagram without giving you so much as a heads up?

Not great.

The semi-good news is that if your new partner is likely closer to your ex than you are, so you can probably get away with leaving the awkward chat to them, but it really is a case-by-case basis.

Keep your expectations in check

If you and your ex didn't end on the best of terms, you probably won't be invited to all the friendly gatherings - and if you are you might not want to go. It's lame, but it's a side effect of dating your ex's mate.

You can of course choose (theoretical) violence and attend the events anyway, but do you really want the stress of that?

Overall, if you and your new boo survive all of the above, the optimist in me is saying you've got a pretty good shot at making it work; regardless, good luck and Viva Forever.