It's like it was something no one can remember clearly. It had no shape, no form. It was one of the most profound moments in history and we all had a stake in it and the stakes were very, very high, a matter of life and death but all most of us did about it was sit at home, watch TV, bake, sleep. There was an anxiety and a dread that covered everything like a dark cloud full of static electricity but it lost its drama, the threat passed and, actually, the weather during lockdown was lovely. It was a golden autumn. This is the way the world looked to be ending: not with a bang but the falling of leaves.
It's like it stopped too soon. Life went on pause, gave everyone a chance to rest up, tidy the house, get in some gardening, read. I finished War & Peace, started Madame Bovary. I finished writing my next book, kept meaning to start another one but didn't get around to it. I wasted one of the greatest opportunities that I'll ever experience: a crisis. But I slept soundly, and didn't have a care in the world apart from the prospect of financial ruin.
It's like it never happened. It happened. It killed people. I went on walks during lockdown with my daughter around our neighbourhood – me on foot, her on her bike – and we'd go past the St Margaret's aged-care home which suffered a Covid-19 cluster and three people died. It's a handsome two-storey villa. The doors and windows were shut tight. A security guard sat on a chair in the driveway. She wore a high-vis jacket.
It's like it's still happening. We can't leave the country. We're stuck here. But we can do the best things in New Zealand life - go to the mall, take long drives, fly within our long white cloud. It's over, really. It's gone, and I kind of miss it.
Next week: Ashleigh Young