Sinead Corcoran Dye on pregnancy: ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do this again’

Sinead Cororan Dye is about to welcome her daughter into the world. Photo / Sylvie Whinray. Clothing / Legoe Heritage

In the final stages of her pregnancy Sinead Corcoran Dye looks back at the bumpy road to parenthood.

This is officially my last pregnancy column as in a few days I’ll have an elective C-section, so by the time you’re reading this my daughter might be in my arms. It’s the end and the beginning and I can’t wrap my head around either.

As you know my pregnancy hasn’t been easy. And while I’m so grateful to have been able to carry a child, I don’t think I’ll ever been able to do this again.

The physical, emotional and financial toll that nine months of relentless sickness took on me and my family is something we’ll all take a long time to recover from. I really can’t imagine we’ll be able to repeat it as the risk of having hyperemesis again is so high.

I’ve always dreamed of having a big family so this is a hard pill for me to swallow, but I’m also quietly confident my daughter will be very cool, so cool that she’ll be enough.

And I really do think though that going through something so hard for so long changed me for the better. As the good, non-vomiting days were so few and far between, when they did happen, I appreciated them so much. I don’t think I’ll ever take my health for granted again.

And along with a newfound gratitude for those fleeting moments where I didn’t have my head in a toilet, I also learned a lot of other lessons along the way.

Like, I’ve always found the term “village” a bit cringe, until I needed one - and very quickly learned that when times are bad, a village is everything. When I got pregnant, and subsequently very sick, new friends and old friends wrapped support around me in every which way. Home-cooked meals to feed our family, gifts of pregnancy massages for my sore, worn-out body and beautiful soft pajamas when that’s all I really wore for the better part of a year, daily messages of encouragement and constant phone calls to check in, and literal shoulders to cry on when I just couldn’t take it anymore.

And this wasn’t just my closest friends; strangers on social media would message me offering help, kind advice and reassuring encouragement that I could do this, I just had to hold on a bit longer and remember it was all going to be worth it in the end.

Another thing I learned is that even if you’re not sick, pregnancy is still all about riding the waves and giving in to them – resisting will just make you feel worse about not being in control of your body or your life.

Some days you’ll be full of beans and be able to go on a 10k walk, other days you won’t be able to get off the couch, let alone shower. Some days you’ll be overwhelmed with love and appreciation for your partner rubbing your feet and rinsing out your vomit bowl, other days you may truly wish him dead for getting you into this mess. And around the eight-month mark you may have to make the deeply depressing purchase of incontinence pads and just accept that That’s Where We’re At Now, and this too shall pass.

But most importantly, I have learned that I never have to do anything hard or impressive ever again because I’ve already done the biggest, worst, best thing ever.

I grew a whole entire human. Because I am superwoman, and I am done. Thank you and goodnight.