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Home / Lifestyle

Signs you are a midlife phone ‘addict’ – and ways to cut back

By Sam Delaney
Daily Telegraph UK·
17 Oct, 2023 07:47 PM9 mins to read

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Are you addicted to your cellphone? Photo / 123RF

Are you addicted to your cellphone? Photo / 123RF

A growing number of people are openly acknowledging that they spend too much time online despite it having a negative impact on their lives.

“From my experience, it’s been easier to cut out alcohol, cigarettes and junk food than phone use,” says Oliver Hart, a 36-year-old quality engineer from Birmingham. “I have an addictive personality and have found that cold turkey is the only way to quit my bad habits. But it’s not possible with my phone. I’ll set a time limit on myself but almost always let it pass and wind up feeling like I’ve thrown my whole day away. It’s not a good feeling and it only exacerbates other mental-health issues.”

According to a new study from the University of Surrey, Hart is just one of a growing number of UK adults who could be classified as “internet addicts”: people who openly acknowledge that they are spending too much time online despite it having a negative impact on their lives. Dr Brigitte Stangl, the lead author of the study, said: “Our main aim was to clarify the difference between using the internet in a problematic way and being addicted to it.”

The researchers analysed the internet usage of 796 participants and claim to have identified a new “spectrum of internet addiction”. This ranges from the 14.86 per cent of “casual users”, who go online with specific tasks and log off without lingering, to the 22.36 per cent of genuine “addicts”. In between, there are categories such as the 21.98 per cent of “experimenters” who feel uneasy or anxious when not connected to the internet and the 17.96 per cent of “addicts in denial” who display signs of addictive behaviours like forming new relationships online and neglecting real-life responsibilities.

It’s easy for your phone to become a pocket ‘comparison machine’. Photo / Getty Images
It’s easy for your phone to become a pocket ‘comparison machine’. Photo / Getty Images
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So when does “casual user” morph into “addict”? The screen-time tracker on my iPhone tells me that, at the time of writing, I have averaged 5 hours and 34 minutes online per day over the past week. And that doesn’t account for laptop and iPad usage either. In quantitative terms, my internet usage would probably put me firmly in the addict category. That said, a great deal of my time online is spent doing things that feel necessary and harmless: from banking to food shopping to chatting with friends, renting an e-bike, paying bills, checking the weather and reading the latest news.

The idea of slack-jawed internet junkies wasting their days on funny cat videos or Star Wars discussion boards is a dated cliche; like most middle-aged people, I feel that the majority of my phone use is pretty practical and the rest (yes, I do still have a mild Twitter habit and a thing for playing football simulations while sitting on the train) is just pretty benign relaxation.

Does phone addiction even really exist? The debate has shifted and labelling persistent internet usage as “addiction” no longer feels particularly helpful, say some experts. “You could argue that more people have problematic internet usage, but we have to be careful about using the word addict,” says Phil Reed, a professor of psychology at the University of Swansea. “Addiction is measured by certain physical and psychological effects.

Addicts experience physical withdrawal symptoms when they try to quit, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. They develop increased tolerance over time – whereby they need more of the same “drug” just to achieve the same thrill. And they also show signs of damaging other aspects of their lives, such as work, finances and relationships. These symptoms are all prevalent among people with an addiction to sedative drugs such as opioids. There is not yet enough evidence that habitual internet use has the same effects.”

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Owen Mitchell, a 32-year-old recruitment consultant from Newcastle, says that his phone usage has many parallels with other addictive behaviours he has experienced. “I use the phone the same way I used alcohol in the past,” he says. “It’s a crutch in social situations that I don’t feel comfortable in. I look at my phone to check out of a conversation. It’s so normal that people don’t even comment any more. When I’m on my own, I scroll on my phone to distract myself from certain negative thoughts and feelings. I want to do something about it because I’ve started to believe that it really is bad for my mental health.”

Perhaps so, but maybe the social stigma has convinced many of us that phone usage is more dangerous than it really is. “Phones are just tools that help us live our lives,” says Andrew K Przybylski, professor of human behaviour and technology at the University of Oxford. “Saying we are addicted to them is like saying humans are addicted to clean water or effective transport systems. We need them, yes, but we are not addicted. At worst, we are interdependent. There is a big difference between plugging a phone into your car in order to access all of the music ever made via Spotify and, say, being chemically addicted to heroin. We can exert control over our phone use whereas chemical compulsions are beyond our control.”

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The attraction of internet use – and especially social-media use – is often related to its supposed ability to generate “happiness hormones” in the body such as dopamine. In 2017, a former Facebook vice president, Chamath Palihapitiya, told The Washington Post that social media created “short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops”, which he claimed were “destroying how society works.” In 2018, an edition of the BBC’s Panorama called Smartphone: The Dark Side interviewed social-media engineers responsible for the “infinite scroll” function (that lets you scroll smoothly and endlessly without waiting for new stories to upload) one of whom lamented: “It became so powerful that it just addicts people.”

The science around supposed “dopamine addiction” doesn’t make sense, says Phil Reed. “Dopamine doesn’t produce addiction. It’s a naturally occurring hormone – its function is as an incentive motivation signaler. It tells you something good is about to happen. But it’s not the actual thing itself.” Przybylski agrees: “If the brain didn’t release signals like dopamine we wouldn’t know what was going on around us. It just isn’t the same as the addictive chemicals associated with alcohol, nicotine and opiates.”

Nonetheless, many of us know how it feels to lapse into lengthy social- media binges when we really should be doing something more important, like cooking dinner or talking to the kids. Even if there’s not a chemical aspect to such behaviour, it certainly can feel like an addiction. “It’s true that people can come to feel too dependent on their phones even when it is damaging the rest of their lives,” says Karen Ersche, professor of addiction neuroscience at Cambridge University.

“But it is not the phone that’s the problem, it is the health of the person using it. That person may have underlying issues with depression or anxiety and probably struggle to practise self-control. These are health issues that need treatment – their use of the phone is just one of the symptoms.”

Maybe thinking of ourselves as phone “addicts” is just a convenient way of relinquishing responsibility for our behaviours. If our devices really are as “addictive” as the tech industry would have us believe, then we are helpless to resist their relentless allure. But science simply doesn’t back up this belief. It might not be easy to put the phone down once in a while but, fundamentally, the choice is yours.

“People need to be empowered about this,” says Przybylski. “Next time you feel your phone usage is getting out of hand, simply ask yourself ‘Is this really how I want to spend my life?’ If the answer is no, you have the tools to take control of your habit. Don’t overthink it. Sometimes phone use can feel depressing and wasteful. But other times, you just need to finish your shopping!”

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How to cut down on problematic phone use

Audit your usage

“Focus on your quality of phone use, not the quantity,” says Andrew Przbylyski. “There is a psychological distinction between using your phone positively and using it for mindless purposes. Simply ask yourself if you are using it to go towards something that you want or to get away from something you don’t.”

Don’t hide it

“Problem users of anything – drink, drugs or phones – will often try to hide their habit from those around them,” says Phil Reed. “If you find yourself going to the bathroom to check social media or disappearing upstairs to check emails, then you need to address the fact you have a problem and start taking measures to control it. Admit the issue and make yourself accountable.”

Take up tools

“Unlike chemical addictions you have the ability to control your problem phone usage,” says Przbylyski. “There are numerous tools available on our phones to monitor and control the amount of time we spend scrolling – so use them.” All smartphones have screen-time applications that will show you how much you are using and whether your hours online are increasing overtime. Download Freedom which allows you to block any or all of the apps you find distracting for set periods of time chosen by you. It does wonders for your focus and productivity.

Activate greyscale

Personal development coach Ben Meer posted about this hack earlier this year and, by doing so, gave thousands of us respite from the constant temptation of our phone screens. By turning your screen grey, you dull the brightly-coloured allure of your apps and negate the bright red notification marks that remind you how many messages you haven’t replied to. You will find the greyscale option by going to ‘settings’ then ‘accessibility’ on your iphone.

Or use a simpler method

Aeroplane mode allows your phone to stay switched on without being online. It’s easy to switch on (but also easy to switch off again, so self-discipline is still required). For an even more lo-fi approach, just set a simple time limit on your online use. “I have an old fashioned egg timer on my desk,” says Przbylyski. “When I need to go on my phone to check something, I always turn it over first. Then, if I find myself slipping into mindless scrolling, the sand always reminds me when to stop.”

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