From Shortland Street to Celebrity Treasure Island – actor Courtenay Louise gets a reality check and tells Penny Lewis about one of her biggest challenges.
Shortland Street's Courtenay Louise says she's an "all or nothing" kind of person, so when the call came asking her to compete in the third series of Celebrity Treasure Island, she didn't hesitate to say yes.
Her plan was to disguise how much of a threat she could be. "I look a certain way and people are going to look at me in a certain way and think that I can't do anything, but that can work in my favour," she says.
Once the competition began, the 28-year-old knew her strategy wasn't going to work. "I am such a competitive person that from the first challenge I had no chance of staying under the radar."
"Before CTI I played a memory game with my family, and I got so angry. They said I was going to make such ridiculous TV. I said I was not going to be like that – but I probably am," she laughs.
Filming wrapped a few months ago but what happens on the show, which premieres on TVNZ 2 on September 5, is secret. What viewers won't see is an appearance from Louise's Shorty character, "wild and crazy" model-turned-PA, Monique Strutter. "Hell no, I am so excited for this. All the [social media] comments about the launch announcement said, 'Courtenay's going to last five minutes' and 'What the hell is Monique doing there?'"
Louise can't say too much about her experience on CTI, but reveals she enjoyed the teamwork, eventually. "At the start I am in a very male-dominated team and I don't really know what my strengths are - and I am questioning myself and who I am. I had been training and I was up for this challenge, but then I really struggled with finding my voice and what my strength was."
Although Louise prepared for the competition intensively, not everyone did. "There were people who rocked up to the show without watching it or had any idea. I was in disbelief that anyone could put themselves in a situation like that. I watched both of the earlier seasons back-to-back and listened to all the podcasts. I think Shannon Ryan [from season one] was brilliant. She was very cool, calm and collected. I could tell she was very mentally strong. Chris Parker was great. His strategic game was awesome and that was an epic win [in season two]."
The actor says she knew she would be good with the physical challenges. She played football, First XI hockey and did athletics at school, and equestrian for eight years. "I did really well in those kinds of things, and I love swimming. I did quite a bit of swimming and trained before CTI – but it didn't really pay off."
As to be expected, CTI life could be hard. Possums were an issue, and the weather was hell. "We were wet the whole time. You're stressed, you haven't eaten, you don't sleep, you're just trying to work together as a team and you've got all these different voices speaking and you're like, 'Shut up,'" she laughs.
Louise has always been a focused person and knew at 5 years old that she wanted to be an actor. "Even though acting is so difficult and it's a struggle and you've got to hustle, I've always known to my core that I have to be an actor," she says.
She grew up on a farm in Ōropi, the eldest of four children. She and her siblings are based in different parts of the country now, and mum Charmaine and stepdad Alan still live in the Bay of Plenty. They're a close family. "Christmas and holidays are really special."
After finishing school, Louise started modelling and worked in retail and hospitality to save for drama school in Australia. She met her fiance Chris Read, a business consultant, when they worked together at former Auckland bar Tyler Street Garage. They've been together eight years. "We're very lucky, we've got a great relationship and we're just really good friends. It's very easy."
There are no wedding plans yet. "Two years ago, when we got engaged, it would have been a big, white wedding in the best venue, very extravagant. Now everything has changed. I want to have a house and kids, so spending a lot of money on a wedding is just not a priority anymore. Watch this space – we might elope somewhere. My mum's going to hate me."
Louise jokes now, but she needed her mum to help her overcome one of her biggest challenges after years of private pain. At odds with her outward confidence, Louise did not tell anyone of the body insecurity she developed when she started modelling. She developed an eating disorder, which saw her starve herself, binge-eat, purge, and over-exercise. "I struggled with my body image for years and years, comparing myself to others and not feeling good enough."
Nobody knew about it. "Chris probably had some idea, because every time I would go out, I would say, 'I don't look good in this' or 'I look awful' and complain about my body, but he didn't know the drastic lengths of how insecure I was."
In Australia, Louise completed a part-time course at the Sydney Theatre School in 2015 and then moved with Read to Melbourne in 2016, where she auditioned and earned a spot in a full-time course at the Howard Fine Acting Studio. "Studying was awesome, but once I graduated, I was auditioning and that was challenging. There was a period of years where I was just getting told no."
The constant rejection played a part in stoking Louise's disorder. "It was very isolating, and it took over a big part of my life. I had to keep this facade up to everyone while I dealt with this thing."
Her recovery came when she and Read moved back to New Zealand to live her family in late 2018 and she finally told them what she was going through. "They were shocked and in disbelief.
"I spent five months at home on the farm. I would go grounding every morning – walking outside with no shoes on, and just feel a real connection with the earth and it sounds so wish-wash, but journalling every single day, yoga, mediation – those things healed me. Being home and being showered by unconditional love and being around animals, getting this love and acceptance where I didn't feel I needed to be anyone else, or I wasn't good enough."
Louise is at pains to point out that what worked for her won't work for everyone. "The difficult thing is that I can tell you what I did, but because everyone's journey is so different, everyone's recovery is different."
Louise first opened up about her eating disorder earlier this year when she joined Shortland Street with a permanent role as Monique. "I struggled with it for so long and I've now got this platform where I can share my story. I don't know if it helps people, but it lets them know they're not alone."
The winner of Celebrity Treasure Island will take home $100,000 for their chosen charity. Louise's charity is Voices of Hope, an organisation co-founded by actor Genevieve Mora and author/speaker Jazz Thornton to break down the stigma of mental illness. Thornton won the last season of Dancing with the Stars but couldn't swap any winning tips because the secrecy around CTI meant charities weren't revealed until the castaway announcements.
Louise decided on supporting Voices of Hope after seeing Mora on TikTok. "They're two young women changing the world one step at a time. They are telling their own personal stories and being honest and vulnerable and sharing a message of hope, telling people it's okay to not be okay. I think it's so important for the younger generation because what we see on social media has filters and we're absorbing it so quickly. I know my social media looks flawless – I haven't yet learned how to navigate being authentic on there. I think a huge part of Celebrity Treasure Island, a reality TV show, is that people will get to see the real me."
Where to get help
If it is an emergency and you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
Eating Disorders Helpline: 0800 2 EDANZ / 0800 2 33269
Anxiety Helpline: Call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)
Depression Helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team, or counselling service. The Mental Health Foundation has more helplines and service contacts on its website.
"I do feel kind of stuck. And I feel like a lot of people feel that way."