NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather forecasts

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
    • The Great NZ Road Trip
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
    • Cooking the Books
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • What the Actual
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Rebecca Kamm: What we can learn from Roast Busters

Herald online
7 Nov, 2013 08:45 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Joseph Lavell Parker (left) and Beraiah Hales are members of the Roast Busters Facebook group.

Joseph Lavell Parker (left) and Beraiah Hales are members of the Roast Busters Facebook group.

Opinion by

Some teenage girls recently described a group of their male friends to a news station. "They're not rapists," they said, of six young men who sexually assaulted young girls, then named and shamed them online. "They're cool dudes. They can make really dumb decisions, but they're being teenagers."

Many will have sniggered at their words; gaped in horror at their nerve and naivety. 'Cool dudes?!' they may have spat from their armchairs. 'He won't look like a dude at all once I'm done with him.'

Indeed, most of New Zealand is in agreement that these aren't sterling examples of manhood. That there's precisely zero coolness attached to their person, because how on earth could there be if they were capable of that.

And yet.

We have highly paid, mainstream radio DJs casualising sexual assault as "mischief"; asking an 18-year-old girl "how free and easy are you kids these days?", as though in her answer must surely lie proof that yes, they wanted it, and boys will be boys.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

We have a police force insisting they have no grounds for arrest, despite a formal complaint by a then 13-year-old victim. Two years ago.

We have a prime minister making reductive statements - "These young guys should just grow up" - that could just as easily apply to petty theft or tagging.

We have a vigilante group baying for blood at one end, and apologists muttering "I'm not defending Roast Busters, but...." at the other end, and nothing in between.

We have all of the above precisely because the "in between" is a long, hard look at our faulty social narratives around rape. And that will always be more confronting, complex and protracted than cash rewards for HD hidings.

Unfortunately, there's no shortcut. The only way to weaken simmering cesspits of misogyny - the sort that might spawn a group of guys who rape for sport - is to myth-bust.

Discover more

Opinion

Rebecca Kamm: Is this America's most idiotic politician?

02 Oct 10:00 PM
Opinion

Rebecca Kamm: The problem with hipster sexism

05 Sep 10:25 PM
Opinion

Shocking world women's news

22 Oct 10:40 PM
New Zealand|politics

Victims urged to come forward

05 Nov 10:52 PM

Many rapists rely on entrenched myths around rape, in order to rape. In particular, that "real" rapists are always strangers. That they leap out from the bushes. And, importantly, that there is never prior interaction between a rapist and his victim.

This script is dangerous because sex offenders hide in its margins. If we believe the only "real" rape is stranger rape, sexual violence between acquaintances automatically becomes "lesser". Our predetermined criterion creates a baseless, unimaginably harmful hierarchy.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

There is context: mythology around "acquaintance" rape as we know it - that its victims are less harmed and its perpetrators less predatory - emerged when studies of victimisation emerged in the 80s. New research clearly showed that the vast majority of rapes were not committed by strangers after all, which lead to terms like "date rape", which carried connotations in public discourse of "rape lite".

Hence the so-called "murkiness" of acquaintance rape; the elusive hunt for the "line" between rape and crossed wires/confusion/mixed signals. The latter selection being so much more preferable in every way - for everyone but the victim.

Of course, the discovery that most rape victims know their rapists also carved a space for victim blaming. Why was she there? Was she drinking? What was she wearing? Was she flirting? Did she have sexy photos on her Facebook page? Did she cry 'Rape!' out of regret the morning after?

In effect, searching for a rapist-shaped loophole became easier. And rape culture - fortified by society's almost paralytic inability to study its own social paradigms - could thrive.

But there's no excuse anymore: we have the facts. We know most rapists aren't strangers, we know why men rape, we know most rapes are planned, and we know that the majority of acquaintance - or "undetected" - rapists use alcohol to defeat resistance.

To be clear: a large portion of rapists choose alcohol over brute force as their weapon. ("I just kept blacking out 'cause I had drunken too much,'' one victim has said. ''You could say I got raped. I had sex with three guys at one time.'')

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Yet despite all of this - despite the decades' worth of work by researchers, doctors, counselors, academics and sociologists; including the testimony of hundreds of rapists themselves - stranger rape remains our model. As though any other "type" is somehow off-brand, and therefore suspect by default.

There's another reason clarity matters: research shows that when society challenges myths around rape, the rate of sexual violence goes down. Inversely, when rape myths are accepted, sexual violence rises. Rape myths shape a culture that breeds more rapists; it's as simple as that.

We have all the resources in the world at our disposal. Let an intelligent, empathic society be our model. Accept nothing less: not from our broadcasters, prime minister, police force, friends, family or colleagues. Demand re-education - do it yourself wherever and whenever possible, even if it's uncomfortable. Especially if it's uncomfortable. Rewrite social narratives.

Because, as explained unequivocally by the Roast Busters themselves, "We take what we do seriously, some of you think this is a joke, it's not."

Follow Rebecca Kamm on Twitter.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

Why embracing mortality and our limitations may help us succeed

09 May 07:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

The man who made a nation cry: One Day’s David Nicholls heads to NZ

09 May 07:00 PM
Lifestyle

Must-see events in Auckland this Mother's Day weekend

09 May 07:00 PM

Sponsored: Top tier tiles - faux or refresh

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Why embracing mortality and our limitations may help us succeed

Why embracing mortality and our limitations may help us succeed

09 May 07:00 PM

Author Oliver Burkeman wants people to look at a different kind of self-help.

Premium
The man who made a nation cry: One Day’s David Nicholls heads to NZ

The man who made a nation cry: One Day’s David Nicholls heads to NZ

09 May 07:00 PM
Must-see events in Auckland this Mother's Day weekend

Must-see events in Auckland this Mother's Day weekend

09 May 07:00 PM
TVNZ presenter opens up about special bond with her mum

TVNZ presenter opens up about special bond with her mum

09 May 05:00 PM
Sponsored: How much is too much?
sponsored

Sponsored: How much is too much?

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP