NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Prince Harry reveals why he ‘smothers’ his children with love in Dr Gabor Maté's online therapy session

Bang Showbiz
4 Mar, 2023 11:31 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Prince Harry opens up in an online therapy session. Video / DailyMail

Prince Harry says he “smothers” his two children with love so they won’t be doomed to experience his “traumas”.

The Duke of Sussex, 38, said he showers his son Archie, 3, and 20-month-old daughter Lilibet with love during an online chat with trauma expert Dr Gabor Maté, 79, in a discussion that took in his mental health and drug use.

He made the revelation about the children he shares with his wife Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, 41, when Dr Maté referred to a passage in the royal’s memoir Spare, released in January. The passage details Harry being told about his mum Princess Diana’s death by his father, then-Prince Charles, when Harry was 12.

Dr Maté says: “When I read that passage in the book, where you find out about your mother’s death... you’re alone in your room.

”And your father comes in to tell you the news. He touches you on the knee, I think in an encouraging fashion, and says, ‘It’s going to be okay’, and walks out, and you’re left on your own.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

”And what struck me in that passage, as in so many other passages in the book, is the lack of touching, the lack of a child being held. How at some point, you wanted to hug your grandmother, and you held yourself back because it wasn’t done.”

Prince Harry detailed the lack of warmth from his father, King Charles, when he broke the news to him that his mother, Princess Diana, had been killed. Photo / Getty Images
Prince Harry detailed the lack of warmth from his father, King Charles, when he broke the news to him that his mother, Princess Diana, had been killed. Photo / Getty Images

Dr Maté went on to describe the lack of touching among the royals as ”multi-generational”, adding: “So what is it about the lack of holding and touching and cuddling in his family – and it’s obviously multi-generational – and how do you think that affects a young child now that you are a father yourself?”

Harry started his response by joking: “Well you’re the professional, you can tell me.”

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

But he added: “It leaves me in a position now, as a father to two kids of my own, making sure that I smother them with love and affection.

”Not smother them to the point where they’re trying to get away... but in the sense that...as a father, [I] feel a huge responsibility to ensure that I don’t pass on any traumas...or any negative experiences that I had as a kid or as a man growing up.

”And that’s putting in the work, and that’s daily being conscious of my behaviour and my reactions to both of my kids.”

Harry also said he feels “slightly different” to the rest of his family, adding: “I felt strange being in this container, and I know that my mum felt the same so it makes sense to me.”

A royal biographer has claimed Prince Harry sees Meghan Markle as "an alternative" to his mother Princess Diana. Photo / Getty Images
A royal biographer has claimed Prince Harry sees Meghan Markle as "an alternative" to his mother Princess Diana. Photo / Getty Images

He added: “We only know what we know, and for myself and my wife we do the best we can as parents – learning from our own past and overlapping those mistakes, perhaps, and growing... to break that cycle… people have said that my wife saved me, I was stuck in this world and she was from a different world and helped draw me out of that.

”But none of the elements of my life would have been possible without me seeing it for myself. My partner is an exceptional human being and I am grateful of the space that she’s given to me.”

For more parenting news and advice listen to the Herald’s parenting podcast, One Day You’ll Thank Me, below:

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

Recovering from surgery isn’t easy - exercising in the water can help

23 Jun 08:19 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

Go ahead, have a ‘fridge cigarette’

23 Jun 06:00 AM
Lifestyle

Neve Ardern Gayford shows off 'American twang' in 7th birthday video

23 Jun 12:00 AM

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Recovering from surgery isn’t easy - exercising in the water can help

Recovering from surgery isn’t easy - exercising in the water can help

23 Jun 08:19 AM

Warm water in therapeutic pools reduces swelling and eases joint pressure.

Premium
Go ahead, have a ‘fridge cigarette’

Go ahead, have a ‘fridge cigarette’

23 Jun 06:00 AM
Neve Ardern Gayford shows off 'American twang' in 7th birthday video

Neve Ardern Gayford shows off 'American twang' in 7th birthday video

23 Jun 12:00 AM
Jacinda Ardern's daughter Neve shows 'American twang' in birthday video

Jacinda Ardern's daughter Neve shows 'American twang' in birthday video

Why wallpaper works wonders
sponsored

Why wallpaper works wonders

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP