Over buying expensive gifts? Seven ways to show your love through action not money

Blooming good ideas for thoughtful gifts.

Whether it's your friend's birthday, a family get-together or an anniversary with your significant other, there's often pressure to show people how much you care by splashing the cash. But if you take a big spend-up off the table, you create more meaningful ways of showing you care while also keeping your money goals on track.

Host a potluck in their honour
Dinners out at a restaurant are fun but you'll have even more fun at home if you do it right. Get as rowdy as you like without worrying about your fellow diners, get a good bottle of wine without worrying about corkage fees and have a gentle competition about who made the best dish. Don't forget that this is no ordinary potluck – someone here is the guest of honour. Maybe the potluck is made up of their favourite foods, or you start off the dinner by sharing your favourite things about them. Don't be shy, everyone secretly longs for more compliments.

Make something meaningful
Don't make a present for the sake of being able to hand over something physical – that's how you end up with macaroni jewellery that nobody wants. Instead, think about what really matters to your friend and what skills you have that could work. If you have the gift of the gab, what about a personalised poem? Or can you craft a scandalous cross-stitch, that looks cute and grandmotherly at first glance but is full of sassy swear words when you look closer? The trick is making sure it's something you have some skill with and then tailoring it to their interests. After all, you don't want to spend all that time just for it to be thrown out.

Home baking can be the way to someone's heart. Photo / Babiche Martens

Bake them treats

The way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. The best part is you can either show off how great your baking skills are or you can quietly cheat with a pre-mixed box. Hey, it all counts.

Plan a girls' movie night

Tell everyone to bring a wheel of their favourite cheese, a bottle of something nice to drink then make a couch nest with cushions and blankets centred around the snacks table. Make sure the snacks aren't the only cheesy thing on the menu – a proper girls' night movie should be enjoyably corny.

Learn something they've always been interested in
Whether it's knitting, gardening, a new language or carpentry, find out what your friend has always wanted to try and commit to being their buddy for giving it a whirl. Local high schools might run a night class in it or there are lots of YouTube tutorials you could try together in the comfort of your homes. Pick a night of the week that works for both of you and commit to trying it together for at least a month. If you both enjoy it, it could become a regular bonding session.

Buy a gift … but in a smart way
There are plenty of ways to get beautiful, quality gifts without spending full retail. If you have good op shops near you, check them out for jewellery and homewares. Some are pre-loved but others are still sealed in their original packages, never used. Another good option is designer recycle or Trade Me, for unwanted gifts in need of a good home. It's a smart way to get a quality gift that might otherwise be out of your price range.

Turn your home into a spa
Grab your favourite bottles of nail polish, face masks and hair treatments and get together at someone's home for a spa day. Set the mood by lighting scented candles and pick a Spotify playlist with "soothing" in the title. Once the pampering is underway, you'll be amazed at the amount of gossip that starts to flow.

Frances Cook is the author of personal finance book Tales From A Financial Hot Mess(Random House NZ, $35)