OPINION:
Spare no detail. Spare no blushes. Spare no one. Of all the accusations Harry has levelled, of all the revelations he has made, it is the account of a physical altercation with William – allegedly leaked from his forthcoming bombshell of an autobiography – that feels by far the most transgressive.
My knee-jerk response was shock. Mortification even – not that two siblings old enough to know better got into a bit of mildly physical argy-bargy, but that Harry is so anguished, so blindsided by fury and bitterness he has broken the unspoken bond of trust that exists between all brothers everywhere.
Ever since Romulus killed Remus and Cain slayed Abel, humanity has been enthralled by tales of fratricide. The image of brothers at war retains a unique potency; unnatural schisms have taken on the mantle of cautionary tropes. The ongoing feud between former Oasis bandmates and brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher is the stuff of musical legend, made entertaining because neither seems bothered by the antipathy.
But watching Harry seemingly intent on destroying William – princes we have known all their lives – is nothing short of heartbreaking. It doesn’t take Philip Larkin to remind us that “they f*** you up, your mum and dad”. So what if Harry thinks King Charles should never have wed Queen Camilla? Kids – of whatever age – judge those closest the most harshly, and parents are fair game. Always were, always will be. Our love is unconditional, no matter how unwarranted the reproach or unfair the retrospective hostility.
But to publicly brand your own brother your “arch nemesis” (as he apparently does in his memoir), to recall how he “terrified you” when he shouted at a family meeting and assaulted you in your kitchen, breaking your “necklace” and sending you flying on to a dog bowl, that broke and injured you, is petulant, juvenile and – there’s no other word for it – excruciating.
Is this the same courageous, charismatic Captain Harry Windsor who undertook two tours of Afghanistan with the Blues and Royals? Who risked his life for Queen and country and staunchly upheld the values of comradeship? I fear it’s all that remains after being put through the clean-living, tell-my-truth, self-actualisation Californian wringer.
The Duke of Sussex has always been acutely aware of his role as spare, not heir. How could he not be, given the Queen helped to prepare Prince William for his role in the royal family with one-to-one mentoring sessions over tea and lunch when he was a teenage boy at Eton. Bizarre, perhaps. But, to paraphrase Tolstoy, all families are weird in their own way. And another thing about all families; birth order matters. Aside from the clichés that eldest children are more responsible and the youngest free-thinking rebels, adults treat them differently. They treat one another differently.
And the truth is, as adults, that established hierarchy really rankles. Previously, Harry has expressed his relief that he would never sit on the throne, with all the “heavy is the head that wears the crown” onerousness the role entails.
Has he changed his mind? A casual observer might wonder, judging by the depth of his rage against the family and the Firm. But the intemperate way in which “Harold” is demonising “Willy” points, I’m afraid, to nothing more righteously heroic than a run-of-the-mill chip-on-the-shoulder attack on his big brother.
I’m sure William can be patronising and it must have been irksome for Harry to be asked if he was “sure” about marrying Meghan after a whirlwind romance. And, yes, any new husband would feel defensive if his elder sibling described his wife as “difficult”, “rude” and “abrasive” when she would much rather be described as “a hugger”. The royal staff who complained about her manner would probably side with William.
Harry would be perfectly entitled to hit back, albeit not literally. But do these petty incidents and differences of opinion warrant the mud he is slinging? The portrayal of our future King, who will represent the United Kingdom on the world stage, as some sort of aggressive bully? There are big Harry interviews in the pipeline to publicise Tuesday’s hold-your-breath publication of Spare. As it is, much of the book appears to have been already leaked.
I’m not sure if it’s too late to look away. Or too early. What I do know is that the knockabout jeux sans frontières War of the Windsors, has evolved into a deeply unbecoming gladiatorial fight between brothers that I fear diminishes us all. Harry left these shores with his wife and young son ostensibly to turn over a clean sheet. Instead, he has ignobly aired his dirty linen over and over, with a cavalier disregard for anything but the cash.
His self-serving book is already a pre-ordered bestseller in the US. No doubt it will top the charts here too. Many of us will read it and weep. And for all his protestations that he wants his father and brother back, there is no way they will Spare him the consequences of his actions.