None of us is going to hang out with Adele any time soon but still, weight is tribal among women and Adele has switched tribes, which leads to suspicion. That's why she went out of her way to mention she was going to have a glass of wine "or six" during the show (translation: I'm still up for it babes! Don't doubt me!) cutting out booze being the other way a woman can betray her own sex – if she's giving it up to look better.
It's not just about appearance, of course. Here are some of the other ways a woman can alienate other women:
Revamp the kitchen using things that you were definitely considering, and now you can't go there.
Borrow your cleaner or handyman and then give them so much work that they are too busy to work for you.
Make very good friends of your friend who you introduced them to, and then start doing things with that friend, but without you (Note: men will think this is normal and precisely the point of friendship, one thing leads to another. Women expect a hierarchy of loyalty.)
Have a very smooth running life (fine) but then look perplexed when you are having a meltdown about, say, changing the timer on the central heating.
Have a pebble smooth face and not be prepared to admit that you paid for it (even worse if you say "I did have something once but that was ages ago, haven't for years" while unsuccessfully attempting a puzzled frown).
Have amnesia about important really useful addresses and names such as: the really good cheap upholsterer; the secret miracle hairdresser; the bloke in Greece with the villa that isn't on anyone's books.
Be the person who rewrites history and pretends they were super laid back and groovy back in the day: lived at Tramp, lay on Dylan's big brass bed, went to the moon blah blah blah.
Offer unsolicited advice regarding house decoration ("I'd have taken that wall down straight away"). Parenting ("Maybe she's happier in Barcelona"). Animal management ("He's carrying a bit of extra weight isn't he?"). Your appearance ("Oh. Is that a new haircut?").
Know more about the place you live, or holiday, than you do. No one likes to have their local knowledge trumped. No one likes to take their friend to the secret beach that they don't take just anyone to and discover She's been going there for years with the Whatsits.
Know more about your husband than you do. (That can happen, particularly if you go back a long way and everyone's been out with everyone, if not twice). The other way to cause offence is by taking his side in an "Aww, don't be hard on him" sort of way.
Pick out the same dress when shopping and look way better in it, and then not bother to buy it.
