By ELEANOR BLACK
Overheard while waiting for Nia Vardalos to take the phone: an unidentified woman is complaining at length about a mysterious rash on her neck and Vardalos, like the good Greek girl she is, empathises.
The rash just won't go away. It is growing, crawling down the neck day
by day. It's truly horrifying. "Oh mahuy Gawd," says Vardalos, who grew up in a family which believed a squirt of window cleaner could cure anything.
Then Vardalos, writer and star of the smash independent film My Big Fat Greek Wedding, picks up the phone and switches on her interview voice before rash lady decides what to do.
It's the sort of conversational snippet you might hear in the semi-autobiographical comedy, based on Vardalos' big, fat one-woman play. Made for less than $11 million, it has brought in $317 million since opening, becoming the most profitable independent film ever.
Inspired by a conversation with an agent who said Vardalos was not pretty enough to be a lead actress, and not fat enough to be a character actress, the film has won more acceptance than its star imagined.
"All doors had shut in my face so I thought, rather than whine about it, I'm gonna write myself a part."
On the strength of her appeal, Vardalos, who spent eight years in an improvisational comedy troupe, is now in the happy position of being offered roles in films written by other people.
Set in Chicago's Greek quarter, Wedding centres on Toula Portokalos (Vardalos), a frumpy, 30-year-old waitress who works in her parents' restaurant, Dancing Zorba's.
She lives with her parents too, in a house which has been "enhanced" with Corinthian columns, white statues on the front lawn and a Greek flag painted on the garage door.
Toula's parents are desperate for her to marry, but she does not like any of the Greek men they bring home. However, when she goes to work at her aunt's travel agency, she meets a man she likes, a high-school teacher, played by John Corbett (Sex and the City, Northern Exposure).
To her parents' dismay, the teacher is a non-Greek vegetarian with long hair. They don't even want to meet him. Unperturbed, he sets out to woo Toula and win over the family.
At heart, Wedding is a true-life ugly duckling story. What sets it apart from others is the over-the-top portrayal of Greek culture, and one crazy family's celebration of it. The Portokalos clan live in each others' pockets, regard powder-blue limousines as the last word in style, and eat, eat, eat.
Besides the basics - an unlikely romance and a big family wedding - it is unclear how much of the film is based on real events. Okay, so they don't break any plates as you'd expect, but who really has 10 bridesmaids these days?
"I'll tell you this," Vardalos says of the film's many Greek gags, "the more exaggerated it looks on the film, the more likely it is to be true. John Corbett has spent some time with my family and he says it's a documentary."
The film's fond portrayal of family chaos impressed Greek-American Rita Wilson (wife of Oscar-collector Tom Hanks), who fell in love with the play and produced the film, with her husband and Gary Goetzman (Philadelphia, Beloved).
When Vardalos insisted on starring in Wedding, the power couple supported her. Earlier, a production company which showed interest in the script wanted Italian-American actress Marisa Tomei to play the role.
Vardalos' real-life husband, actor Ian Gomez, also appears, as Corbett's best friend.
"The film lives forever so I wanted him to be in it in some way but not as husband and wife or a boyfriend and girlfriend, because we find that creepy," Vardalos explains. "It's like saying, 'Look how cute we are as a couple. Why don't you spend $9 to see us kiss?"'
Vardalos says she hates writing but has already penned another movie script and a television sitcom. With more Wedding promotion to be done, she is not sure when she'll get home to film anything. But she's not complaining.
"We are still in theatres in Los Angeles. A normal film opens and closes in six weeks and it's been six months. I know it has to end but it's not something I want to rush.
"It's not even like a ride at a theme park, it's more like I've been thrown into the space shuttle."
* My Big Fat Greek Wedding has advance screenings this weekend and opens on Thursday.
By ELEANOR BLACK
Overheard while waiting for Nia Vardalos to take the phone: an unidentified woman is complaining at length about a mysterious rash on her neck and Vardalos, like the good Greek girl she is, empathises.
The rash just won't go away. It is growing, crawling down the neck day
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