Nicola Alpe: The trouble with aspiring to a celebrity-inspired love life

The ring Machine Gun Kelly gave Megan Fox is designed so that if she takes it off it will hurt her. Photo / Getty Images

Women could almost be forgiven for thinking the secret to a fairytale romance is finding a man with a celebrity profile and living as his well-kept beloved. In this era of social media and the associated lust for a designer lifestyle, Instagram followers, and glamorous holidays, a celebrity-inspired relationship is still not something that women and girls should aspire to.

Recently we've seen two celebrity couples play out their romances; the engagement of Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox, and the burgeoning relationship, or publicity stunt, with Kanye West and Julia Fox. And where celebrities go, people follow.

We don't have a lot of MGKs or Kanyes in our midst, but we have our share of toxic relationships and controlling men.

To research for a column advocating why women should grow their pubic hair, I joined a guerilla Facebook group. Knowing I'd be entertained and thinking I'd be enlightened, I was instead dismayed by the volume of posts seeking advice by women and girls blind to their controlling male partners. In the end I waded in like Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives at her friend's wake, attempting to open the eyes of the young ladies who were, quite frankly, in damaging and controlling relationships.

Years ago, when Kim hooked up with Kanye, she was already one of the most recognisable women in the world. Her style was not always my cup of tea, but it was reflective of fashion at the time and, anyway, it was her style. Cue Kanye riding in, a scowling tracksuit-wearing saviour, filling a suite with couture, and Kim was transformed into the high-fashion, neutral-wearing clotheshorse she is today.

A few years later and he's at it again. Another new relationship. A woman who, this time, isn't very well known. Another suite full of designer clothes for her, ostensibly as a gift, and let's face it, who wouldn't love that gift? But if you scratch the surface a little, this OTT gesture reeks of coercive control; of trying to change someone to fit your purpose and of someone saying, "I like you, but I'd like you better if you fit my ideal of how you should dress, look and act."

Around the same time MGK proposed to Megan Fox. On her finger? A unique and sizeable ring, symbolic of their birth stones and designed by him. At first glance, a beautiful gesture, until he opens his mouth and says that love hurts, physically that is, and the ring is designed so that if she takes it off it will hurt her. She's in trouble, as a ring that size is never worn day in, day out. Furthermore, emeralds are too soft for everyday wear. Ouch.

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With so many layers to celebrity these days, the desirability of celebrity-style relationships has trickled down, which makes us civilians think these perfect, stylish and expensive unions where suites full of designer clothes and gorgeous but painful gifts are what we should be aspiring to. Celebrity relationships are not always controlling, but you only need look at the amount of broken engagements and high-profile divorces to see they are nothing to desire.

There is nothing glamorous about being in a controlling relationship: what you wear, how you look, the people you associate with or the implications of doing something as simple as being able to take off your jewellery. Love can break our hearts, but love should never be controlling or physically painful, no matter what the material spoils or the social media highlights look like.