An age-old dilemma has Kiwis once again debating who should be fronting the bill on a date.

The post by Reddit user HauntingBack kicked off the debate when he asked what the norm is for Kiwis - should the male or the female pay, or should they split the bill?

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"As a male, I don't necessarily think the male is obliged to pay in this day and age, but I usually do just because it's not a huge deal," he wrote.


"I do think if you invite someone to a expensive restaurant they might not normally go to you should pay."

He then said that if he didn't choose the restaurant he'd still offer to pay.

"If a date offers to pay I accept and thank them and don't insist I pay instead, but generally I'll take care of the bill."

An exception to this is going to the movies, he thought, writing that he would feel more comfortable paying for his own ticket and snacks.

"When you've been on a few dates with someone I'd expect them to pay occasionally, if they don't offer to it may be a red flag."

Reddit users had differing opinions to contribute.

The post on social media site Reddit had users flocking to comment their opinions. Photo / 123rf
The post on social media site Reddit had users flocking to comment their opinions. Photo / 123rf

"I'd always ask if my date minds if I pick up the bill. Sometimes it would be a yes please, other times she might ask to split it - but I figured I'd offer, and give them a choice at least," wrote one.

Another thought it was strange that this question was still up for debate in 2020.


"To me, people thinking men had to pay for women felt a bit outdated."

One person revealed their strategy for dilemmas like this.

"Back when I was dating I had a little strategy... if I liked the guy I'd let him pay and say I'd get next time. If he didn't I'd insist that we split it and never speak to him again."

Others had a more traditional "old school" approach.

"I'd say the guy pays, but if the gal wants to split things, then that is a good sign."

The answer seems to be down to personal preference, whether it's the "traditional" approach or you agree to split the bill.