A grieving mother has taken to Instagram 18 months after the tragic death of her son, saying life for her family continues to be "hard" every day.

Anna Davis, owner of The Small Folk children's store, lost her son Alby when he choked to death after swallowing a bouncy ball on Tasmania's northwest coast in March last year.

Ms Davis, from Wynyard, described her family's ongoing grief as 18 months of learning to accept that "hard is now part of our daily normal".

Alby died just before his fourth birthday. Ms Davis, pregnant at the time of the accident, tried desperately to save her son, but he died within seconds, cradled in her arms.

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The bouncy ball had been in a box of party favours intended for Alby's upcoming birthday.

"These months are a mere glimpse into the remainder of our lifetimes carrying this cumbersome, lonely weight," Anna wrote on Instagram yesterday.

"Hours can go by without us feeling consumed by Alby's passing, but every single day there are moments which completely stop us in our tracks & have us pining for a 'what should have been' life."

Alby was survived by his older sister Sage and little brother Acre. Arnhem, Ms Davis' fourth child, was born after Alby's death. Ms Davis said the family had bought a van to accommodate all the children, but the second seating row was no longer necessary, something she also found "hard" to deal with.

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For almost 18 months, we’ve had to accept that ‘hard’ is now part of our daily normal. And these months are a mere glimpse into the remainder of our lifetimes carrying this cumbersome, lonely weight. Hours can go by without us feeling consumed by Alby’s passing, but every single day there are moments which completely stop us in our tracks & have us pining for a ‘what should have been’ life. Driving in our van, purchased in preparation for 4 children, with no need for the second row of seats, is hard. Watching Sage, Acre & Arnhem laughing & playing together, knowing how much Alby would’ve loved to join in, is hard Navigating what to believe while desperately hoping that one day we may see him again, is hard. Saying goodnight to Acre every evening as he lays in Alby’s bed, is hard. Witnessing all of our friends’ children growing, changing & evolving, is hard. Hearing an ambulance siren is hard. Acre asking, ‘is Alby in there?’ every time he sees an ambulance, is hard. Acre asking ‘where actually *is* Alby?’ is hard. Comprehending that Arnhem will never know his own brother, is hard. Dealing with inquests & coroners & lawyers is hard. Seeing bouncy balls being sold in every major retailer is hard. Driving daily past the morgue is hard. The constant fear of something happening to our other children is hard. Removing trolls who comment skulls on all of Alby’s images is hard. Acre coughing & then always reassuring me “me okay Mum” is hard. People messaging, comparing their miscarriages to losing Alby, is hard. People messaging to say that Alby appears to them in visions, is hard. Acre approaching the age of 4 is hard. Hearing your husband sob for his son, is hard. The look in people’s eyes when they see us walking down the street, is hard. Hearing people complain about their children is hard. Being left alone with all of my children is hard. Receiving our Medicare card with Alby’s name removed is hard. Daydreaming about what he would have looked like, sounded like, been like, is hard. Every birthday, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, February 26th - everyday - is hard. We have so very much to be grateful for, but this life, is also fucking hard.

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"Watching Sage, Acre & Arnhem laughing & playing together, knowing how much Alby would've loved to join in, is hard," Ms Davis wrote on Instagram, as part of a list of all the things that stopped her in her tracks.


"Navigating what to believe while desperately hoping that one day we may see him again is hard.

"Saying goodnight to Acre every evening as he lays in Alby's bed is hard.

"Witnessing all of our friends' children growing, changing & evolving, is hard.

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"Hearing an ambulance siren is hard.

"Acre asking, 'is Alby in there?' every time he sees an ambulance, is hard.

"Acre asking 'where actually is Alby?' is hard.

"Comprehending that Arnhem will never know his own brother, is hard."

Alby died just before his fourth birthday. Photo / Instagram
Alby died just before his fourth birthday. Photo / Instagram

Following Alby's tragic death, a coronial inquest was launched, and Ms Davis said, "Dealing with inquests & coroners & lawyers is hard.

"Seeing bouncy balls being sold in every major retailer is hard.

"Driving daily past the morgue is hard."

Davis said she lived in "constant fear" of something happening to one of her other children. Every time her son Acre coughs, he reassures her that he is OK.