A new mother told Slate her mother-in-law convinced her husband to change the name of her newborn son while she was asleep, recovering from a C-section.

The woman, nicknamed "Mama Bear", wrote to Slate asking for advice on what to do now that the name change had happened.

"My son is two-months-old, and I just discovered my husband spelled our son's middle name as 'Finlay' instead of 'Finley' on all of his legal documentation," her letter began.

"I, of course, am furious, because I told him I was fine with the middle name but it had to be spelled Finley—and he agreed before our son was ever born."


She added that the mother-in-law sent a Christmas gift with the boy's name spelt "Finlay" and her husband tried to convince her that the birth certificate had it correctly spelt as "Finley".

"I discovered this all when I went looking for his Social Security card and birth certificate to file them away properly," the American mum wrote. "He says he regretted it as soon as the card came and has been afraid to tell me."

The husband says he as "guilt-tripped" by his mother to change the boy's name without consulting his wife.

"Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section," the new mum wrote.

"Keep in mind she lives a few states away, so this was all over the phone. She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would 'get mad, but get over it.'

"My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mum wanted. She thinks that 'Finlay' is more masculine than 'Finley'."

She says her mother-in-law is a "manipulator" and called her act "disrespectful".

She also called out her husband in the letter for going behind her back and said she intends to change the boy's name back to what she intended it to be.

However, she asked Slate readers for advice on how to deal with her mother-in-law.

Slate responded by explaining that a big part of the problem was her husband's inability to see the wrong in his mother's actions.

"He's got to decide if you are his co-parent or if his mother is," the publication wrote. "And until he makes that decision, he can't be trusted. Period."

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