There's something super empowering about getting to a place in your life where you can inhale a doughnut with the same force and vigor that the vacuum cleaner pipe has for an earring on the ground.
I'm at that place. But I've also lost almost 20kg in the last five years. Four kilos a year is not a hard ask though really is it, it literally just involves not being a hungus all the time.
Only two days a week. And actually stopping eating when you are full. Crazy, I know. So guys, just sign up to my health and fitness blog/Insta/Pinterest/Facebook/bootcamp/trust circle to learn my secrets. Jokes.
But I am interested in getting more fit. I'm also interested in doing that in multiple ways, not using one formula, trying new things and not giving myself a time limit.
Imagine if we did that for other areas of our lives. If parents of young kids said, "We are going to be better parents in only eight weeks, with eight easy payments of $29.99 and a really helpful closed Facebook group that all of the other bad parents who don't care enough about their kids can't join. Unless they pay."
So why do we do it to ourselves when it comes to fitness? Jealousy is a major reason, I reckon. We all see the perfect bodies and the people ticking off physical and health achievements and we wish we could do the same, or worse, look the same! Yuk.
Why would you want to look like anyone other than yourself?! If you have a partner, ask them if they'd prefer you look like someone else. If they say yes, run for your life (you'll get fit doing it, win win!).
If not a partner, ask your family, or friends. Ninety-nine per cent of people in your life who are worth their salt will tell you that you look great how you are and if you want to change something then do it to feel better inside and not to compare.
In saying all that, I compare daily. I see the dudes on Instagram or wide-legged muscle-waddling out the Mount, who are at the gym seven days a week and post their 'grind' and them 'doing the mahi'. I'll be damned if I'm not occasionally jealous of the 'treats' they get from that mahi too.
But at the same time, that life is not one I'd be happy with.
Sure, I'd look hot to other people, but I'd be a depressed, life-unbalanced mess of abs and eye-watering protein farts.
So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get fit. I'm going to use a bunch of methods. I'll run. I'll walk. I'll work out. I'll play sports. I'll do an array of things that elevate my heart rate above 'potato'.
I'll set no time limit, I'll set no body fat/BMI/weight/run-a-marathon goal.
But what I will do is eat and drink what and when I want (both the good and the bad things), be honest with myself when I've been slack, be harder than I need to on myself sometimes and hate and love my body all at the same time.
The main thing is that I'm making a choice to actually have a crack at being fitter. My mind is clearer and my disposition is happier after I've done exercise.
I'll see you at the pub. After a light to medium trot round the Mount.
• Will Johnston is the local 9am-3pm host for The Hits Bay of Plenty 95FM. He's also a celebrant and MC. Follow Will on Instagram on @radiowill.