A woman has opened up about why she ends relationships with her female friends once they become mothers.
Sydney-based journalist Nadia Bokody says life changes a lot for new mums and she admits she cannot be friends with women once they have children, even if they'd been friends before.
She says it hasn't always been that way. Speaking to the MirrorOnline, Bokody says she used to try to maintain relationships with her female friends after the birth of their children.
However, because of the new mother's new priorities, it never seemed to work.
Life is like a party. . You invite a lot of people; some show up to keep face but leave early, others come and stay all night kicking it on the dance floor. Some trash your house, and others let you down and bail last minute with lame excuses. But in the end, after the fun is over and the cold light of day hits, there are only a few who will stay back and clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those are the ones you didn't even invite. . READ: Cherish every opportunity to cultivate a new relationship in life. More often than not, the best experiences end up being shared with people you least expect. . . . . #selflovefirst #kindnessmatters #spreadgoodvibes #mentalhealthawareness #bodypositivebabes #quoteoftheday #thoughtleader #tuesdaythoughts #girlswhowrite #anxietywarrior #selflovewarrior #empoweringquotes #womenempowerwomen #spreadkindnesslikeconfetti #lifeislikethat #instamotivate #girlbosstribe #mentalillnessrecovery #sexpositivity #sexpositivefeminism #feministas #makelovenotwar #lovewinsalways #friendsquotes #positive_vibes #healthybodyandmind #healthyselfie #bekindtoall #thefutureisfeminist
"It wasn't for lack of either of us trying, just that catch-ups became incredibly difficult to schedule and on the rare occasion they did happen, they were typically overrun by breastfeeding and baby talk," she said.
The Australian journalist points out that, while she is thrilled for her friends, there is a sense of loss for her that comes from losing that friend to their new baby.
"I've been happy for all of my friends who've gone on to have children, to see the joy it's brought them, but a part of me feels a sense of loss at the same time too, because I know the relationship won't stay the same, and will likely at some point inevitably end."
She noticed, over time, that she began drifting away from those friends and finding new, child-free friends to bond with.
"As my friends have gone on to get pregnant and have babies I've found myself forming a new group of friends with younger women more aligned with my life stage.
"It's not that I simply coldly cut off friends who become mums, but more so that the friendship typically very predictably withers within the first year of new parenthood as their priorities change."
According to Bokody, her friends who had children will also admit they no longer have time for the things they used to have time for before.
There are no words for the hair genius that is @siennaprince of @wildlifehairsydney. A picture perfect crop, every time. Thanks for making my mane dreams come true! #shorthairinspo #shorthaired #shorthairideas #haircutideas #pixiecutstyle #haircutselfie #hairstylesforgirls #hairinspired #shorthairlove
"I have one friend who still really goes out of her way to catch-up and it means the world, but honestly, even she has to book get-togethers months in advance and will often have to cancel or leave halfway through to breastfeed."
Her stern child-free stance has upset some friends but she feels like it is, ultimately, better for everyone.
She also says that it's not just her refusing to stay close to women with children. Sometimes it is her friends with children who leave her out of important events.
"I wish new mums would give child-free women a bit more credit," she said.
"I'm often not invited to kids birthday parties or certain events because it's assumed I won't fit in as the only guest without children of my own."
While she admits she doesn't feel maternal, she says she'd still rather be invited.
"If you think becoming a mother won't change a friendship I think quite frankly you are kidding yourself," she added.
Are you a parent in New Zealand? Join our parenting group on Facebook.