Survey of Kiwi singles show almost half hold a flame for their ex

The ex-files: Nearly half of Kiwi singles still carry torches for their old flames. Photo / Getty Images.

Ever felt the relief of breaking up with someone, only to regret it later? Research reveals you're not alone.

A recent EliteSingles survey of 200 New Zealanders found that 46 per cent have had a partner dump them, only to see them come back later and beg to be given a second chance.

So if you've ever been left hoping for a reconciliation, you may have more of a shot than you think: Nearly half of Kiwi singles admitted to still have feelings for an ex and would go back to them if asked nicely.

No regrets? Not quite

From afar, it may look like your former flame doesn't regret ending things but in truth that's not always the case, especially if your ex is a man. The survey found 43 per cent of men harbour "dumper's remorse" compared to 35 per cent of women.

How long will you wait to end it?

The end of a serious relationship can be painful for both parties, but if things are going south, how long should you wait before ending it?

Over half of Kiwis say up to three months although 13 per cent would hold on for as long as one to two years.

The study found 56 per cent of women would dump someone during the first three months of relationship unhappiness, compared with 54 per cent of men.

And men are the ones more likely to want to hold on to what they've got: Nine per cent said they would wait at least two years before ending things, while just four per cent of women feel the same.

Why we go back when we really shouldn't

EliteSingles' resident psychologist, Salama Marine, acknowledges that moving on after a break up can be really tough.

She explains that many people will go back to an ex becuase it's easy.

"[T]hey know that person loved and valued them in the past, so it's easier to go back to them instead of try to find someone new. Yet, doing this can be really painful and lower your self esteem which is the opposite of what you should be doing in the post-break up period."

Moving on

Marine says: ''We cannot estimate how long it will take to fully get over your ex as it is different for everyone, but by giving yourself the tools to meet new people, you will finally meet the person you truly deserve."

Or, if Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have taught us anything, it's that sometimes you just have to spend some time doing your own crazy things before you can rekindle your romance.