NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Shelley Bridgeman: Who do these people think they are?

Shelley Bridgeman
By Shelley Bridgeman
Herald online·
26 Jul, 2016 07:00 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

You shouldn't touch another person's car unless the owner has asked you to clean it or invited you to get in it. Photo / Getty

You shouldn't touch another person's car unless the owner has asked you to clean it or invited you to get in it. Photo / Getty

Shelley Bridgeman
Opinion by Shelley Bridgeman
Shelley Bridgeman is a columnist for Lifestyle at The New Zealand Herald.
Learn more

I blame Catherine Tate and her cantankerous character "Nan" for the fact that one of my favourite sayings is "What a liberty!"

This expression is most apt when someone has helped themselves to an asset without seeking permission. It's an another way of saying: "Who do they think they are?" To take a liberty is crass. It's thoughtless. It's shows that, according to your world view, your agenda is the only one that matters. Here are five examples of people taking liberties with a variety of items.

1. Cars

Last week a Sideswipe reader wrote that "an up-himself stuffed-shirt leapt out of his gleaming new Beamer to quite aggressively reprimand an elderly lady for resting her jacket on his bonnet while she unlocked her door".

As payback, the reader put the remains of his or her lunch on the man's car and "within no time there were seagulls, sparrows and mynas leaping and pooing all over!"

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Gosh, remind me not to upset that person. Now I would never berate anyone (let alone an elderly person) but I do think that lady could have chosen a better place to rest her jacket.

Since she was unlocking her door, she must have had a car, which must have had a bonnet so maybe she could have .... I don't know .... let me think .... rested her jacket on her own bonnet.

My philosophy is that you shouldn't touch another person's car unless the owner has asked you to clean it or service it (or invited you to get in it, in which case, you have permission to touch the door handle). So I wasn't thrilled to once discover a man leaning on my car as he chatted to someone in a supermarket car-park. Conflict is not my style so I would have pretended not to notice him while silently speculating whether it was ignorance or rudeness or both that had enabled him to take such a liberty.

2. Rubbish bins

I've occasionally had a parking receipt or sweet wrapper in my hand as I walked down a footpath punctuated with household rubbish bins. Despite the temptation, I could never bring myself to dispose of even these trivial bits of rubbish in someone else's bin. My rationale is straightforward: it's not my bin and I haven't been given permission to use it.

In a recent Rant section David was "[m]ost unhappy that a lazy dog walker would choose to dump their smelly doggy poo bag in our empty recycle wheelie bin on the street in Northcote Point.

"We only put the bin out once a month. Should we have to live with that distasteful smell and mess because of their lack of consideration?"

Discover more

Opinion

Are you into dirty dining?

18 Sep 10:15 PM
Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: Six reasons I hate cafés

29 Jul 11:35 PM
Opinion

Can you take food in to a restaurant?

16 Aug 03:30 AM
Opinion

Shelley Bridgeman: The virtues of unisex toilets

18 May 07:30 AM

I agree with David. What a liberty that person had taken. (It's lunchtime so let's not even discuss whether dog poo belongs in a recycle bin in the first place.)

3. Water

At a horse competition a couple of months ago, my horse was tied up beside our truck as I shampooed his legs. (Yes, horse people are as nutty as dog people.)

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The man who had parked next to us must have had water-hose envy because a little later he came over with a bucket and proceeded to fill it up with water from our truck. This stranger said something like: "You don't mind if I take a bit of your water."

Well, we did mind actually. We didn't like his attitude. He didn't have our permission to take our water from our tank in our truck with our hose. Of course, that impotent blend of surprise, politeness and being averse to conflict made us all mute. But honestly: what a liberty!

4. Windscreen wipers

It's annoying to come back to your car (that has been parked legally in a car-park or on the street) and find that advertising material has been tucked underneath a windscreen wiper.

As covered in point one above, it is rude to touch someone's car without permission. It's even poorer form to use those bad manners to hawk your wares or services. Sometimes I don't discover the unsolicited spam until I'm driving along. In such cases, the only way to safely remove the material impeding the driver's view of the road is to switch on the windscreen wipers. It's not environmentally-friendly but it usually eliminates the offending matter within seconds.

5. Car windows

One gentleman, in an attempt to drum up some car valet business, tucked his business card down the lower edge of the driver's window while my car was unattended. (Again, please refer to rule one.) When I returned and tried to remove the business card, it slid down out of sight and out of reach.

It is now permanently, invisibly, embedded somewhere in the depths of my car door. Thanks for that, Car Valet Guy. Let me get this straight. In the process of promoting your services to make cars nice, you gave my car an impossible-to-remove souvenir. This person is sending all the wrong messages. He doesn't really care about cars. He just cares about himself. What a liberty!

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

The high-protein food boom: What it means for NZ consumers

03 Jul 10:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

The surprising health benefits of magic mushrooms

03 Jul 06:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

A loved one was diagnosed with dementia. Now what?

03 Jul 06:00 AM

Sponsored: Get your kids involved in your reno

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

The high-protein food boom: What it means for NZ consumers

The high-protein food boom: What it means for NZ consumers

03 Jul 10:00 PM

Nutritionist Nikki Hart says protein helps muscles, immune system, and hormone production.

Premium
The surprising health benefits of magic mushrooms

The surprising health benefits of magic mushrooms

03 Jul 06:00 PM
Premium
A loved one was diagnosed with dementia. Now what?

A loved one was diagnosed with dementia. Now what?

03 Jul 06:00 AM
Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM
Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper
sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP