Louise Thompson: Energy angels and energy vampires

Identify the angels and vampires in your life and resolve who you should be spending more or less time with. Photos / iStock

Opinion

One of the curious things about life is that some people in our lives naturally give us energy. I call these people Energy Angels. Time hanging with them is energising, fun, joyous and we leave with a very definite spring in our step. On the other hand some people, the Energy Vampires, suck it out of us. We leave their company drained, down and out of sorts.

If you are anything like me you will dress up your interactions with Energy Vampires with the "shoulds". "Oh I should see her, she'll be upset if I don't". "I should make/take/do that thing for him, I promised I would" all the while with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Even if you are not consciously labelling it, your body is letting you know you are in contact with an Energy Vampire.

Energy Vampires are different for everyone. Indeed one person's Energy Vampire is another person's Energy Angel. Someone who leaves me so exhausted I need a good lie down after is someone else's Go To party person or sympathetic confidant. Being an Energy Vampire for you doesn't make them a bad person, it's just not a great energetic fit for you. In fact ... whisper it ... you will be someone else's Energy Vampire! You will also be many people's Energy Angel too. It's not a reflection on who we are, it's much more about energetic fit.

Putting boundaries up that respect your own energy requirements is key to the amount of ease and happiness in your day. Choose to spend less time with Energy Vampires, cutting your interactions short. If it's a lunch, make it a snappy coffee instead. If it's a coffee perhaps you can actually deal with it in a phone call? You get the idea.

We only have 24 hours in every day. It's absolutely our choice who and what we put in it. I find it SO fascinating that we can be absolutely obsessed with what foods we are eating, and juicing and all that stuff for energy, when we take absolutely no care about WHO we put in our energetic environments - which has at least a comparable, if not more significant, impact on our energy levels. We would all be better served with more discernment of our energetic needs. Are you giving more consideration to what you put in your mouth than who you allow in your immediate energy field?

Energy Vampires can range from draining to genuinely toxic. Setting your own boundaries, which honour your energy response, is one of the most important things you can do for your own health and wellbeing. Sometimes we just need to be brave enough to reduce contact time with the Energy Vampires in our lives if they are taking a real toll on us, and have the hard conversation required. Your energy is one of your most precious resources and if you do not protect it then no one else will do that for you. There is no need to feel guilty: it is your time and energy to give. You get to decide where that precious resource goes.

Energy Angels, on the other hand, are an energizing delight to be around. I have an ever increasing number of people in my life who fulfil this requirement. Time with them speeds by, I feel positively bouncy and full of life whilst we are together or whenever their name is in my inbox. The more you up your Energy Angel quota the more fun, ease and joy there will be in your life.

There is only so much time in the day. You have only so much energy! By ditching the airtime you give to Energy Vampires you will naturally open up more space for you to fill it with Energy Angels.
 
Action step
Identify the Energy Angels in your life and resolve to spend 10 per cent more time with them starting TODAY.

- bite.co.nz

• Through her online Happiness programme “Wellbeing Warriors”, life coach Louise Thompson helps people unlock their happiest and healthiest life. Sign up at louisethompson.com and find more from Louise at bite.co.nz/wellbeing.