Speaking to Paula Bennett on her NZ Herald podcast, Ask Me Anything, Bailey said that, at the time, he wasn’t feeling the “big emotions” that people normally expect.
“I wasn’t angry or scared or sad or afraid or upset or any of these things. I think for me, if I look back on it, there was a real sense of nothing much. There was a lot of numbness.”
Bailey puts a lot of that down to the stage of life he was at, and how teenage boys aren’t known for being able to comprehend their mortality.
“And so going into the diagnosis, going through my treatment, I don’t think there was ever really a time where I thought that I wouldn’t make it through, or a time where I ever doubted that I would survive.
“And I have to put a very, very bold caveat to that, which is that wasn’t some sort of relentless positivity or optimism or bravery or courage or anything like that. I think it was genuinely just teenage naivety and probably being a little bit, sort of oblivious as to how much of a risk there was to my health.”
While the prognosis was good, Bailey still had a journey to go through before getting into remission, coupled with being thrust into the spotlight by his speech.
Reflecting on that time, he believes going through that expedited the usual growth and learning someone would go through when transitioning from teenage years to adulthood.
The main takeaway is that he believes he became a much happier and more grateful person.
“I don’t think I was a particularly resilient person prior to the cancer. I don’t necessarily think I’m a particularly resilient person now after the cancer either.
“But certainly having gone through that experience of adversity, having been forced to learn and take some lessons and skills and tools for getting through tough times, and then applying those to the other adversity and challenges which we all face in life, I think has greatly improved my life since that point onwards.”
Bailey ended up studying positive psychology at university and has been touring the world as a motivational speaker.
He has also written several books. His latest, The Comeback Code, explores adversity and resilience, and how people can thrive through the challenges they face.
While his life has been dictated by supporting others for a decade now, Bailey told Bennett that this book marks “the start of the end” of this part of his life.
“I’ll be completely forthright and say that, for me, it’s been an amazing sort of last 10 years. I’ve been incredibly privileged and fortunate to have had the opportunity to do this work, and it’s been incredibly fulfilling. I guess it’s very much my passion and I feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to have done it.
“[But] I feel like I’ve really accomplished all that I wanted to do in this area, and I’m sort of ready for the next challenge.
“I’ve been, as I say, incredibly fortunate to have had this opportunity, and I guess for the cancer to have led me into this pathway now. But at the end of the day, I don’t think anyone wants to continue to be defined by anything they did when they were 18 years old.”
As for what that next challenge is?
“I’m not entirely clear what that will be, but I’m looking forward to finding out and sinking my teeth into something new.
“The bottom line is the reality is this work, this story, and this experience which I’ve had, will forever remain a really integral part of who I am. I don’t see myself stopping the speaking work or, or moving out of this resilience space any time soon.
“But maybe just continuing to remain in this work in a different capacity to the one which I’ve been in over the past 10 years, as I start something new.“
Listen to the full episode for more from Jake Bailey, including the “Four S Model” for dealing with traumatic events.
The Comeback Code is available now from bookstores.
Ask Me Anything is an NZ Herald podcast hosted by former Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett. New episodes are available every Sunday.
You can follow the podcast at iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
