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Home / Lifestyle

Marriage in midlife: Are you headed for a 'meno-divorce'?

NZ Herald
19 May, 2019 08:52 PM3 mins to read

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A journalist has been "inundated" with messages from women telling her how they have suffered. Photo / Getty Images

A journalist has been "inundated" with messages from women telling her how they have suffered. Photo / Getty Images

After confessing her marriage ended over menopause, a journalist has been "inundated" with stories of husbands who also couldn't cope with the hormonal impact experienced by their wives.

Writing for the Daily Mail, Ulrika Jonsson shared: "Last weekend I opened my heart to readers of this paper about the terrible impact the menopause has had on my physical and mental health, and how my husband - from whom I'm now separated - seemed unable to grasp what I was going through, adding to the pressures on our relationship.

"Five days on I'm still being inundated with messages from women telling me how they have suffered."

Ulrika Jonsson says many women contacted her whose relationships hadn't survived menopause. Photo / Getty Images
Ulrika Jonsson says many women contacted her whose relationships hadn't survived menopause. Photo / Getty Images

For many women, the effects of menopause can include memory problems, anxiety, insomnia and crippling exhaustion.

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The women who wrote in explained their husbands had "no idea the symptoms could be so terrifying and complicated," as they had thought it was just "hot flushes and moodiness".

One woman whose marriage ended revealed: "He'd just dismiss my anxiety and tears of despair as me being hormonal, a word he managed to turn into an insult instead of trying to understand that my hormones were making me feel absolutely awful."

After conducting a survey on the impact of menopause on men, Jonsson found that less than a third of women said they felt able to talk to their partner openly about what was happening to them.

Jonsson has since urged couples to communicate about menopause.

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"It will help men understand what their partners are going through, and women finally feel that they aren't going through the menopause alone."

Her top tips for managing menopause symptoms are adding exercise and meditation to your routine, avoiding red wine and sugary snacks to control your cortisol levels, and never skipping meals.

Magnesium-rich foods are recommended for women during this time. Up your intake of spinach, Brazil nuts and walnuts. You may also find yourself feeling more jittery than usual. Ditch coffee in favour of caffeine-free herbal teas.

Broken sleep is also a common symptom experienced during menopause. Jonsson recommends identifying what's keeping you up at night: if it's night sweats, foods that are high in isoflavone, such as soy and flax seeds, can help by tricking your brain into thinking you have normal, circulating oestrogen.

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Or, if you find your sleep interrupted because you need to use the toilet more frequently, be mindful of keeping liquids to a minimum before bedtime.

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