Be unemotional but not entirely detached
Casual sex and emotions don't mix. If you're the kind of person who can't separate what's going on in their head, heart, and soul from their loins, anonymous sex just isn't for you. Sex with random people is for those who do not need an emotional connection to get off. It's all about the lust of the physical.
However, while you have to remain unemotional to engage in anonymous sex, this doesn't mean you have to become a robot. Sex isn't a transaction: you're still going to have to look the other person in the eye, talk to them, and respect them.
Go primal
Anonymous sex is your chance to really let loose. You can be a primal version of woman or man – you can scream, you can grunt, you can sweat.
You don't have to worry about making a bad impression or what the way you have sex "says" about your personality. It's irrelevant because anonymous sex is about the here and now. It's a chance to go wild without ramifications.
Don't sneak out
Most people know that you shouldn't generally stay over at someone's house after an anonymous sex hook-up. It's too intimate. On the other hand, sneaking out isn't cool either.
Maybe you've finished your sexual encounter and fallen asleep in another person's bed with them – it happens. When you wake with immediacy and the desire to leave, at least be courteous enough to wake the other person up, or at bare minimum, leave a note saying you had fun.
Renege consent if you want to
Say you have organised an anonymous hook-up via an app, but when presented with your potential sexual partner for the night in real life, you're uncomfortable. Perhaps they don't look like their photos, or maybe you get a creepy vibe.
For whatever reason, if you're uncomfortable physically engaging with someone – even if they have turned up at your door – don't have sex with them. Close the door or leave.
Consent is ongoing throughout and can be reneged at any time without shame, guilt, or fear of hurting someone's feelings.
Throw body shame to the wind
Anonymous sex often presents itself when least expected. Unlike dating somebody - where you have time to prepare yourself – the spontaneous nature of it sometimes means you won't be feeling your best about your body. You might be having a bad skin week, you may be ungroomed, or any other manner of physical insecurities may be present.
For a casual sexual encounter, put all of these aside. They are irrelevant. How you look should be of little concern to you because you're not trying to impress. You're getting a job done. In saying that, out of good manners, do be showered and clean for the other person.
Be discreet after the fact
There's a chance you'll bump into somebody you've had anonymous sex with at a later date. It's New Zealand after all – we're still one big little town, really. If this happens, discretion is paramount. Don't bring it up (or even allude to it) with that person, or the people you're with (e.g. friends or colleagues). Even if it brings about shame to see them, keep those feelings inside. The whole point of anonymous sex is keeping it anonymous.
