Lee Suckling: JOMO is the new FOMO

Stop looking at your phone on a Friday night and enjoy the quiet time. Photo / 123RF

If, for the last few years, we've all succumbed to the pressures of Fear of Missing Out, this year we must enable the Joy of Missing Out. Forget FOMO. Let's talk about JOMO.

JOMO is the perfect antidote to a long summer of excess, which many of us have undoubtedly had. Since December, it has been terribly tough to turn down terrace drinkies, rooftop barbecues and beach-days-out. The temperatures haven't dropped below 20 in a long time. We've eked out the sunlight as long as seasonally possible.

But now, dear friends, it's going to get wet. And cold. So let's change tracks for a few months and revel in NOT being stuck waiting for a cab at 1am on a chilly Saturday, shivering from a downpour all over your new Céline, one heel broken because you got it caught in a drain full of mouldy leaves.

JOMO starts with saying no, and for many, that's a hard thing to do. While you might've had a long week, and come Friday night all you wanted to do is fall asleep at 8.30pm to the cackle of Graham Norton, there's something about a last-minute text that reads, "Britomart, wine o'clock?" that you just can't resist.

But you should resist. Because it's only the FOMO that leads you to pull a half-arsed outfit together, slap your face on, and end up spending $100 you really didn't want - or need - to. We all know, when you wake up the next day with sore head and skint bank balance, you'll ask yourself, "Why? Why did I do that? I just wanted to go to BodyBalance this morning!".

When you do decline, however, the Joys of Missing Out quite immediately come to fruition.

You take time to yourself to sit, relax, and process your hard week at work properly, rather than drowning it in gin and Jason DeRulo. You get to really enjoy the taste of the nice Shiraz that has sat in your pantry for weeks, just one or two glasses at a time. You will realise you're allowed to put your phone away and stop checking Snapchat, because you'll know what's going on outside isn't nearly as enjoyable as what's happening on your sofa RIGHT NOW.

When you do check Snapchat (or Instagram, Facebook, or even just your SMS log) at 7am the next morning, your JOMO will continue. "Gosh", you'll think, "I don't think I could be happier right now, knowing I'm not in a stranger's bed with a smashing migraine, unsure where my undies are."

JOMO is also an ideal wintertime detox for those addicted to said social media platforms. There's always a sense, for those who document every bit of fun we have (even when it's falsified fun), that in doing so we're loosing a little of our lives; throwing minutes or hours of our days into the digital abyss.

When you stop posting, and stop checking up on others' posts, there's a wholehearted joy that arises within. "Wow", you'll muse, "I'm really not missing out on anything at all."

Experiencing JOMO also means understanding how over-extended you are in your daily life, and how much effort you put into being constantly available. Available at work, available to friends, available to the opening of an envelope because you're fearful that you'll miss out on a million-dollar cheque that's hidden inside. One of the true joys of missing out on being "always-available" is realising all you're leaving behind is trivial fluff. There's nothing important in that envelope; neither literal nor metaphorical.

It is time to enlist JOMO as a weekly consideration. You don't have to say no to everything; just stop saying yes to anything. Stop blowing your gasket surmising what you "should" be doing, and start giving yourself some space. In that space, you'll realise everything good in your life doesn't really need broadcasting, and you'll actually be able to enjoy the moments (small as they may be).

Whether JOMO materialises as a technology Sabbath or a day out with your dog; an alcohol detox or a Friday night baking session with your mum, this is an essential movement of mindfulness that the modern generation needs to get its head around.

While FOMO might lead you great nights out, JOMO may just lead you to What Really Matters: the blissful feeling you're utilising every day as if it was your last.